Posted in family life, musings

rainy day in the desert

Sometimes, when everything is dry and parched and hot, rain comes bringing renewal and new life.

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Maybe if I’d grown up somewhere wetter, rain wouldn’t always feel like a gift from heaven or an answered prayer – but to this desert girl, where water is always needed, rain is analogous to grace. It comes from God, not by any effort of our own, and we delight in it.

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It got a bit cold for us out in the rain, because it was also fairly windy, but the boys were entranced by the water anyways.

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I just hope that they will be just as entranced by grace itself as God pours it into their lives.

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – working in the garden

For the first time in my desert gardening adventure, I’m going to be attempting a crop over the summer. Our scorching days not being particularly friendly to most plants, I’ve avoided the summer so far – but this year, we’re going to be planting sweet potatoes! I’ll have to take another picture of the slips I started soon, because they’re really starting to take off, especially the purple potatoes, which have the most beautiful red-veined leaves.

Anyway, to grow sweet potatoes we needed to seriously amend our soil, because the native soil where we live is the kind of clay you can build with – dense, compacted, hard, and thick: pretty much the opposite of what root vegetables need! So we spent Saturday mixing in two huge sacks full of compost from a local farm into our raised bed, and the boys, particularly Rondel, had a wonderful time exploring the dirt and helping with the work.

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He was so focused and engaged with the task at hand! He first helped me water the mint and oregano, which we had to transplant to the trench garden from the raised bed to make room for the sweet potatoes, and the continued to water the dirt in the raised bed as we mixed in the compost. We had the kiddie pool filled up in case anyone needed to cool off, since Saturday was pretty warm, and it provided Rondel with a way to fill up the watering can on his own.

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In addition to wanting to help with the tasks of preparing the garden, Rondel couldn’t resist sticking his hands in the dirt and discovering what it felt like at various stages of wetness, from completely dry all the way to soggy mud.

The garden has always been his happy place, where he pushes his sensory boundaries and lets his imagination run wild, and I absolutely love seeing him get dirty and sweaty and so incredibly captivated by natural things. This is our little piece of nature in the midst of the city, and something about it speaks to his heart.

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Limerick also wanted to use the watering can, once Rondel put it down, and after a while he kind of got the hang of it – but at first he just turned it upside down like a bucket:

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{real}

Aside from the watering can diversion, however, Limerick was not thrilled about our family time in the garden. He was tired and hungry and generally grumpy, and constantly demanded bubbles.

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have you tried taking pictures of bubbles as you’re blowing them? it’s more luck than anything that one of these bubbles managed to be in focus…

And it’s so hard to say no to him because I always wonder if I’m just saying no because of my own selfishness and laziness instead of for a legitimate reason, and because he sometimes gets very fixated on things and has a lot of trouble moving on to something else when I say no. It’s hard not to pull out the bubbles when your baby is crying for them and it’s not a difficult activity to share with him – but on the other hand, I don’t want him to think that he can get whatever he wants by crying for it. Right now I’m trying to be firm with boundaries that I care more about and just caving on the bubbles… I do love bubbles myself anyways…

Head on over to the linkup at Like Mother, Like Daughter today to share some more everyday joy and contentment!

Posted in family life

Limerick being silly

This little guy is one of the jolliest babies I know – he always seems to have a smile or a laugh ready, and he’s already got quite a sense of humor.

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Yesterday afternoon he was diligently capping and uncapping some pens, and ended up with the lid to an orange pen but not the pen itself. The pen was sitting on the ground in front of him, by his right foot which was tucked in, but he kept overlooking it. So he looks up from his capping and asks, “other half orange one?”

“Is it right in front of you?” I ask.

Looking by his outstretched left leg he says, “nope!”

“Is it by your toes?” I ask next.

Reaching out to the toes of his left foot, he picks up his whole foot by the toes and then proclaims, “nope!”

At this point I’m not really sure what to say, so I wait for him to keep looking on his own a bit longer before simply telling him, “It’s right next to your other foot, Limerick!”

To which he responds by picking up the toes of his right foot and declaring, “nope!” once again.

I totally lost it. I mean, I fell over on the floor I was laughing so hard, and Limerick ended up deciding that hysterical mommy on the hallway floor was much more entertaining then a bunch of pens anyway, so he came over and sat on me.

I have a strong suspicion that he knew where that pen was the whole time and was having fun seeing what would happen if he pretended he couldn’t find it 🙂 These boys – they bring such silliness to my life and I absolutely love it.

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – roller coaster parenting

Parenting is quite the sequence of ups and downs. One night the boys help me clean up all their toys, snuggle up for stories after their bath, and fall asleep peacefully and quickly; the next night the space between dinner and bed is punctuated by a meltdown every five minutes, bedtime itself turns into a two-hour battle, and the house still looks like a tornado hit it by the time I manage to fall asleep.

Last night being one of the good nights (in fact, one of the best, as I re-convinced my 2.5 year old that books are amazing by selecting some slightly more advanced classics and reading them with character voices), it’s tempting to feel like I’ve got this parenting thing down! Of course, however, that would be a delusion remarkably blind to even just the past week of family life…

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But let’s start with the positives from the past week, because they did exist even on the hardest days.

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On Friday I remembered to pick up some sweet potatoes during our grocery run and started rooting some slips for our summer garden! The two on the left are normal orange sweet potatoes (Red Garnets or whatever standard variety the grocery store carries) and the two on the right are purple sweet potatoes. They’re a bit starchier and less sweet than the orange, and Rondel loves them – but as they tend to be expensive we hardly ever buy them. Hopefully this foray into potato gardening is a success! I have a feeling we will have our whole tiny yard covered in vines and leaves and nothing to show for it under the soil…

But for now, we are excitedly watching the potatoes begin to shoot thin white roots out into the water in their jars! The purple potatoes are proving more prolific in the rooting department, but there’s already activity (less than a week after setting these up) in all four jars. The site I found made it sound like there would be both roots and leaves within a few weeks, and at that time I plan to plant the slips as even the cold nights will be a faint memory by that point.

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Despite Rondel having a rather exhausting cold (his sensitivities increase exponentially when he’s sick, and he can’t stand the feel of his nose running even the slightest bit, so our days were a continual refrain of high-pitched moans of “wipe nose!”), I took the boys out to the park Saturday morning just to get them out of the house. Limerick had serious cabin fever, and even Rondel was feeling just better enough that some time running around significantly helped his mood. Sometimes I think some sort of physical activity must be a basic human need for the proper functioning of the mind and emotions… it’s true for most of the people I know, at any rate, and even more true for those of us prone to depression and anxiety.

Anyway, Rondel spent most of the time literally running up and down the sidewalks pushing his dump truck, while Limerick tested his balancing abilities by walking on all the curbs. Then Rondel discovered that his truck would roll all the way down the hill if he gave it a bit of a push at the top, and the two of them ran gleefully after it all the way down, until it crashed into a bush at the bottom. This was then repeated many times, to the great happiness of all involved 🙂

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Did you notice the sweatshirts on the boys in the pictures above? Just a few hours later, they were attired much differently:

Arizona spring weather is just as inconsistent and changing as those feelings of parenting success or failure… one minute we’re all bundled up and the next we’re playing in the water wearing shoes because the concrete is too hot to stand on!

Also funny (to me anyway): Limerick is currently quite obsessed with pouring water on himself, and with oranges. I have no clue why oranges are so incredibly fascinating…

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This is Limerick, thoroughly enjoying himself with his cousins at the zoo:

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And where was Rondel?

Curled up in the stroller, disconsolate, asking if we could please go home so he could take a nap – because it was the first morning he was sick and I didn’t realize it before we had packed up to go out with the cousins as planned. So in addition to putting him through a miserable morning (it was cold, overcast, and windy – great for running around, not so great for sitting in a stroller feeling sick), I spread the cold to my niece and nephew. I suppose it’s always good to have bad parenting days to keep us from getting arrogant about the good ones… so much depends on getting a few spur-of-the-moment decisions right. But that doesn’t make it feel any better when it happens!

Head on over to the link-up today at Like Mother Like Daughter to be encouraged and share everyday contentment with everyone else!

Posted in family life

brothers becoming friends

As the oldest sibling in my family, I liked playing with my brother and sister but sometimes (especially when they were very young) wished they were a bit more mature and independent! I see that with Rondel on occasion as he plays with Limerick – Limerick is always very interested in whatever Rondel is doing, and wants to be a part of it with him, but since he’s still pretty little he has a tendency to knock things over, which frustrates Rondel to no end as he’s typically just managed to balance or build or line things up to his liking when Limerick wanders over. It’s hard to watch sometimes, because I want them to learn to play together well and work through their conflicts, and it’s sad to see Limerick pushed away by his big brother when he just wants to play with him, but at the same time I find myself sympathizing with Rondel when he wants to be able to do something without another small person in his space.

When the boys are running around, though, engaging in full-body activities and practicing large motor skills, they’re a lot less likely to have conflict and a lot more likely to really enjoy being together. I think it might be because Limerick is on a more even level with Rondel in this sphere, or because Rondel is moving around and so doesn’t have a “space” or “activity” that Limerick can mess up. So at night we’ll run through the house playing chasing games, and they’ll practically run into each other and not care that they’re touching each other. And playing outside tends to be the best of all:

We took advantage of a warm afternoon to set up the hose out front and the boys spent the whole time – over an hour – playing in close company, watching each other, copying each other, laughing at each other, and generally building up the positive balance in their relationship. It probably helped that (after taking these pictures) I got in on the fun with them… 🙂 I really couldn’t resist!

My hope for them is that they will grow to be each other’s best friends, closest supports, and greatest encouragers – that they will lead each other into crazy situations, help each other grow, and be there for each other when they need a helping hand or a listening ear. And I think that these early years are foundational for creating the closeness and connection that often prove so elusive later in life.

Posted in family life, links, musings

spending time outdoors, and trying to avoid the built environment in an urban setting

I read a rather depressing article in The Guardian this week about the amount of time kids spend outside – apparently, about 3/4 of kids in the UK spend less than an hour outside on an average day, which is less than the amount of outdoors time the UN recommends for prisoners. I don’t imagine it’s that much better in the US, particularly in urban environments.

There’s been a combination of factors leading up to this, I think. We have the increased attraction of indoor activities, to start – a proliferation of games, toys, and technologies that didn’t exist a few generations ago. We have an increased sense of parental fear and anxiety, which I think stems from the globalization of our news and the breakdown of neighborhood communities. And in general we have a cultural tendency toward comfort and convenience, and being outdoors in all weathers isn’t the most comfortable or convenient thing, especially when parental supervision is required!

But it is undeniable that outdoors, active play and exploration is one of the best possible things a young child can be doing.

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So, in sort of the same spirit as my efforts to make sure my kids eat a variety of healthy foods, I’ve decided to be very intentional about getting them out of the house every day for an hour or two at a time (Limerick doesn’t usually last longer than that without needing some sort of rest or snack). I wish I had more wild and natural places for them to play easily, but at least I can get them outdoors with their hands in the dirt and rocks and grass!

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And in the mud! Irrigation at the botanical garden makes for a great play place for a toddler.

Our city does offer a variety of parks, and we live in a walkable area, so that helps a lot. Just this weekend, actually, we discovered a new park that has a small desert botanical garden, some walking trails, and some Native American ruins in addition to the playground area! I’m anticipating a lot more exploration there…

Rondel and I stood under this palo verde, by the flower-crowned organ pipe cacti, and held very still so we could listen to the buzzing drone of all the bees over our heads. The branches were probably a good two feet above my head and we could still hear the hum loud and clear.

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Limerick learned the hard way that even the flower buds on cacti have prickles!

In a similar vein, I learned today about the concept of an urban farm preschool, where very young children who don’t live in a rural environment can still have daily exposure to the natural environment – to experience firsthand the ever-changing beauty and wildness of nature, to see how plants grow and bear fruit and die, to taste and touch and feel living things every day, to grow comfortable around dirt and animals and the unsanitized processes of the natural world. There’s another idea added to my catalog of small businesses I’d be interested in starting some day!

What are some of your favorite ways to encourage your children to play outdoors, especially those of you who live in more urban settings? How do you think our society as a whole might do a better job of enabling outdoor time for both children and adults?

 

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – spring in bloom

This is really one of the loveliest times of year here in Arizona. It seems like everything that can bloom is blooming, and flowers of all different shapes and hues and scents are everywhere.

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so many yellow daisies!
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daisies against a field of purple lantana
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bold and brilliant pomegranate reaching out to the orange tree

{happy}

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smiling at grandma being silly

This little guy is one of the happiest people I know. If he isn’t exhausted or hungry, he’s typically smiling, laughing, and generally being silly. His good spirits bring such joy to our house, especially since Rondel and I are less even-keeled… And it’s hard not to smile back at Limerick when he gets that twinkle in his eyes and that little dimple on his cheek, even when it’s been a rough day!

{funny} and {real}

Rondel was sick over the weekend (hence the rather disheveled look – this was one of his brief interludes away from his sick nest on the couch), which I suppose is {real} and not {funny}, but I found this new activity he’s devised really quite amusing. We have three wooden puzzles that spell out our names – one for me that I’ve had since childhood, and one for each of the boys. So Rondel took the letters out of the puzzle and lined them up on the lid of the piano, and was very pleased with himself for the accomplishment! By the end of the day he’d managed to balance them all up along the piano and was then fiercely guarding it against his fascinated little brother…

There’s no linkup today, which I maybe should have foreseen since it’s Holy Thursday, but since I wrote the post preemptively, I’m still sharing it here 🙂 Like Mother Like Daughter has a different (but very fascinating) type of post up today, about the Triduum and the curious fact that tomorrow is the celebration of both the Annunciation and Good Friday, including thoughts on this rare event from the 17th century poet John Donne – so go read it, especially if you need a seed idea to help you pray and meditate on Christ over these next few days.

Posted in family life

gentle sleep and bedtime battles

A few weeks ago I wrote about the beginnings of our night-weaning journey with Limerick and I can now say confidently that it is going really, really, well. Our new routine has endured through a 5 day, 104 degree fever as well as through the cutting of two molars, and last night Limerick didn’t even ask to nurse before falling asleep. He knew he was tired, and had asked to go to bed when we were playing as a family downstairs, but I was still surprised when I gave him the option of nursing or turning the light off and getting his water bottle that he replied, “light off, bottle!”

So that’s what I did – I gave him his bottle, turned the light off, turned the music on, and lay down next to him on the bed, and he fell asleep. Wow. I’m still amazed at his ability to go to sleep so easily! And he slept until 1:15, for a stretch of 5.5 hours straight! This is probably not a big deal to anyone who night weaned or sleep trained at an earlier age, but for my nighttime snugglers and nursers, this is huge. Honestly, I think he would have slept longer if he hadn’t needed a new diaper, because he went right back to sleep after I changed him.

Now my bedtime issues have swiveled back to Rondel, who has decided that nighttime is not a good time, and that being in bed is akin to being locked up in prison. I’m rather at a loss for how to structure his days and evenings so that bedtime isn’t a battle, since he’ll keep protesting even when he’s so exhausted he can hardly keep his eyes open. Any ideas from the more experienced moms out there?

Posted in family life

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – feeding the ducks!

The boys and I went to a new park this week, just a few miles south of our house. To our delight, behind the playground was a lake, complete with ducks!

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Limerick absolutely loves birds and was completely captivated by the ducks. It took him a few tries to throw his pieces of bread into the water instead of just dropping them at his feet, but once he got it he didn’t want to stop.

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We fed the ducks at the end of our time at the park, after a couple hours of running and digging in the sun, and I was a bit worried that the boys would be too worn out to really enjoy it – but they were so excited about seeing all the birds that they got a second wind 🙂 I was amazed at how fast our small supply of bread heels disappeared into those ducks’ tummies.

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Tuesday was free ice cream cone day at Dairy Queen, and there happens to be a Dairy Queen within a block of our house, so I took the boys for their first ever ice cream cone experience. This little man was a bit overwhelmed by the cone in its pristine form, but he got all silly and happy once we reduced it down to more manageable proportions. Limerick was exactly the opposite: he plunged right into the tower of ice cream on the cone, uncaring of the creamy sticky mess all over his face, and ate quite a bit before deciding he was done, about halfway through the ice cream. The upshot of the adventure was that we had 3 good-sized cones and I ended up eating about 2 of them, between my own and helping the boys with theirs!

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This little guy, while decidedly cute and happy, has also decided that it is ridiculously fun to run away from me and generally play keep-away when I call him. It is hard not to let it turn into a game every time, the way he laughs so mischievously as he scampers away! I’m having to enforce the rules a bit more strictly than I wish I had to – it’s like, if you would stay away from the road you could play anywhere in this whole huge area, but because you keep running towards the road with trouble on your face, thinking it’s a game, you’re going to have to sit with me or in the stroller. I feel like his need to test the boundaries keeps him from having as much fun as he otherwise could, which makes me sad for him.

My primary solution is to let him play, as much as possible, in areas where the boundaries are few and far between, so he doesn’t feel as much need to test: a playground where the road isn’t in sight, or where the road is on the other side of a fence; a child-safe backyard; the inside of our house or my parents’ house. In those settings, he can explore and play independently without the constant need for supervision or the shadow of a potential “no” interrupting his agenda.

Any other tips for what to do in places where I can’t control all those variables, and where the boundaries are simultaneously much tighter and much less clearly defined (for a 1.5yr old, anyway)?

Head on over to Like Mother, Like Daughter for the link-up today!

Posted in family life

silly kids being kids

The dishwasher rack made it outside for a day, as the accessory and prop to many different pretend plays:

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Shortly thereafter I replaced it into the dishwasher and the boys haven’t pulled it out again yet, so I suppose the novelty has worn off a bit. It was a bit of a large and obtrusive play thing so I don’t mind it being back in it’s rightful home and out of my hallway!

(With regards to these pictures – I found the old kit lens that came with my camera and while it is really sensitive to poor lighting, it is really nice for close-up shots as it can get down to 18mm, as opposed to my main shooting lens which is a fixed-width at 50mm. Unfortunately, unless I’m in bright sunlight it distorts and washes out the colors to a certain extent. I’ve been simultaneously enjoying the flexibility of the wide-angle option in the often small and enclosed places we occupy, and remembering why I had put the lens away in a drawer in the first place…)

Sometimes I can follow what the boys are doing, like when they count stone and grass squares as they hop on them,

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or dance around and around in circles until they (pretend to) fall down (with little brother watching and doing his best to follow the leader),

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but sometimes I just really have no idea what is going on inside their heads:

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At least I know that every day will hold something new or unexpected 🙂 I know that whether the boys have fun playing together or whether they have to work through conflicts, whether they are happy little explorers or clingy sad babies, whether we deal with each other with patience and grace or tightly restrained frustration, each day is an adventure we will have together, a time to learn and love and grow together. And I love them, and they love me – my life is so full of blessings.