Category: family life

Posted in family life

a little bit of normal life: gardens, dirt, and popsicles

Posted on by kristinabean

Well, our sweet potato growing experiment failed.

I know some varieties of sweet potato can grow in Arizona, but the microclimate of our backyard is warmer than average due to heat radiating off the walls, and the copious amounts of water we gave the plants just barely managed to keep them from dying for the past couple months. Compared to how sweet potatoes should look after that much growing time, they were small and sickly. And all the purple ones died after a particularly hot and dry week in July.

However, we took advantage of the garden being empty of plant life to completely rebuild the frame for the raised bed, since the old one had succumbed to weather damage and splintered apart. My husband did an awesome job with it, and found an environmentally-friendly water sealant to protect the frame so it should last for a while – and the boys have been loving the chance to play in the dirt before it’s time for our fall planting.

Rondel prefers to sit outside the bed and use his construction trucks to dig; Limerick had more fun climbing right in and burrowing into the dirt with his hands.

Since the soil hadn’t been watered for a few days in preparation for moving it out of the old frame and back into the new one, it was blowing all over us like dust – so I turned the hose on to a trickle and added it to the fun 🙂

Limerick was incredibly focused on the dirt/mud. I don’t think he smiled once… he was too busy investigating the different sensations of dusty soil, wet soil, and puddles in the soil. It amazes me how dirty he can get when he’s intent on experiencing or exploring something! I had to spray him down before we went outside and it was surprisingly difficult to get all of the dirt off of him. But it was worth it – if you’ve been reading here for a while, you know what a fan I am of messy/sensory play!

And then (true mom confession) I fed them homemade peach popsicles for dinner with the excuse that we were all too hot from being outside to eat anything warmer 😛

Posted in family life

conflict resolution in the eyes of a child

Posted on by kristinabean

At the children’s museum this weekend, a brother and sister were building a fort together with the large blocks in the toddler/preschool area of the museum. They were a little older – the brother was maybe 8 years old, his sister maybe 4 or 5. Rondel, who’s been in a bit of a tower-destroying phase in general, was really drawn to that fort, and not in a way much appreciated by its builders! But I was incredibly impressed with how they handled the potential conflict.

First, they asked Rondel very politely not to knock their fort over, explaining that they were still building it. Next, the brother went over to his dad and asked his dad to build a separate tower a ways away from the fort. Finally, when that tower was complete, he came back to Rondel, asked him what his name was, and then told him that this other tower was built just for him to knock over. To top it off, both the brother and the sister came with Rondel over to the new tower, watched him knock it over, and cheered gleefully with him over its demise. Over the course of the next 15 minutes or so, as their dad and I continued to build towers for Rondel to knock over, this little boy kept bouncing back out of his fort to cheer for Rondel every time he brought a tower down.

His other-centered attitude, his ability to see a mutually positive solution to their conflict, and his proactivity in making that solution a reality blew me away. I hope Rondel and Limerick can grow into that kind of maturity at that early of an age as well!

Posted in family life

water balloons and popsicles

Posted on by kristinabean

The boys’ cousins came over this weekend for a play date and we went all out preparing for the fun – because when you live in a small house you don’t want to keep four toddlers and a baby cooped up in it all morning, and when it’s summer in the Valley of the Sun you can’t just casually go outside to play (especially when the raised bed catastrophe in the back makes it into a child safety hazard – exposed nails, anyone? – so the moms have to be outside in the heat too!).

So, to make sure we could handle both the crowd and the weather, we made popsicles (for the first time for my kids!) and water balloons (also a first!). Rondel and Limerick were absolutely enthralled by the water balloons, and couldn’t keep their hands off of them while I was filling them up, although they did try their best to be gentle and save them for when the cousins arrived. Their look of surprise the first time one popped in their hands was priceless 🙂 And of course, when they finally did get to start throwing and deliberately popping them later in the morning, they were completely into it. I think the approximately 100 balloons survived about ten minutes into the water play…

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selecting balloons from the bucket (which was almost full at the beginning! The kids didn’t leave me much time to grab the camera)

The popsicles were an equal success with the four toddlers, and a much greater hit with the baby, who obviously couldn’t share in the water balloon fun. I had made two types, one using watermelon and lime and another more creamy variety using strawberry, banana, and milk. While the strawberry-banana popsicle was the first to be claimed and devoured, everyone went back for seconds and ate up the watermelon popsicles without any complaint. I only tried the watermelon and was surprised at how refreshing it was, and how well the lime complemented the watermelon flavor. And everyone took a turn feeding their popsicles to the baby – I wish I could show you all those pictures! My nieces and nephew are really quite adorable 🙂

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And in between the water balloons and popsicles, the kids played with a hose sprinkler, a plastic slide, a kiddie pool, and a lot of different cups and bowls – the standard water play setup for our house. But everything is more exciting when you have a friend to share it, even if it sometimes means waiting a while for the slide, or being crashed into at the bottom by an overeager cousin 🙂

Posted in family life

toddler potty humor

Posted on by kristinabean

It starts young… 🙂

I was putting some dirty diapers in the diaper pail this evening and came across a poopy one, so I commented, “Eww, a poopy diaper!” Well, Rondel heard me and replied, “Limerick is a poopy diaper!”

And then he just about fell over laughing (Limerick was rather oblivious, fortunately).

I suppose I’ll have to add “Please don’t call your brother a poopy diaper” to the list of things I never thought I’d say, and then try to explain to Rondel that it isn’t very kind to call someone names of that sort, even if they don’t seem to mind. (I can hear him now telling me that Limerick wasn’t sad about it so it should be ok…) He just has a toddler’s keen eye for incongruity coupled with a toddler’s immature sense of empathy!

Posted in family life

sand baby

Posted on by kristinabean

On our first day at the beach, Rondel went into the water for a little while with me, but then retreated to the sand where my dad was sunbathing. The dry sand at this particular beach was burning hot, so he compromised by sitting on a towel and then scooping up the sand and pouring it over his legs:

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(At a subsequent beach he laid down on his belly in damper sand and had us cover his with it but I wasn’t able to get a picture 😦 He must’ve liked the feel of the sand on his skin!)

I remember a time when we had to avoid sandy parks because Rondel hated the feel of the sand on his feet, and when even the beach was only fun when he was in the water where the sand feels quite different than it does dry. He’s come quite a long way in his comfort with different sensations, even seeking things out now that he once avoided. And as a sand-lover myself (I spend more time digging in the sand than swimming when I’m at the beach), it’s fun to have someone enjoying it with me!

Posted in family life

Traveling with toddlers, part 2

Posted on by kristinabean

…schedules, routines, logistics, and sanity…

If your toddlers are anything like mine, they do best with predictable routines, familiar places, and people they know. They also tend to wake up early, go to bed early, and require multiple meals, snacks, and at least one nap every day. In normal life, where the family schedule accommodates these routine toddler needs, it’s not a big problem – but when every day is spent in a new place with extended family who aren’t accustomed to operating on toddler time, it can be more of a challenge.

For instance, what do you do when your toddlers are up at 7 but a few of the adults in the group like to sleep until 10? You can try to keep your kids quiet in the house during their most energetic hours, or you can take them out on your own with the result that they are going down for naps just as the rest of the family is finally up and ready – neither of which are great options! We used both of these options at different times, depending on how the previous night went, but I think the ideal solution would be to have an outdoor play space within walking distance, so the kids can get out of the house or hotel without getting totally worn out from a big excursion. Of course, this can be difficult to plan in advance!

The other big adjustment we found helpful for the trip was counting on car time for snacks and naps. If you’re visiting a city where most activities or people to visit are a 30 minute drive away (or more), coordinating a drive with a tired hour or bringing along food lets you get in the essentials without making the whole group sit around the house for an extra hour or so. With my parents, my brother, my sister and her husband, my grandmother, and various other family members who lived in the area, the added flexibility and time saved by utilizing car time was huge.

In the end, though, you can never really predict how a toddler will respond to the more spontaneous and potentially overwhelming schedule of a vacation, and it’s important to remember that. Encourage them when they are doing well, and reassure them when they’re struggling – after all, you are their one constant through the craziness of travel, and they need to know they can count on you to understand, love, and empower them. Don’t be surprised if they are a bit more clingy and cuddly than normal, especially at bedtime! Just enjoy the extra closeness and remember that they’ll be back to normal when they’re back home in their regular routine.

Posted in family life

traveling with toddlers, part 1

Posted on by kristinabean

… in which planes are discussed, with their various pros and cons …

In general, I think car trips are preferable to plane trips with little kids. They tend to be less expensive (especially once the kids are too old to fly for free!), they allow for more convenient and accessible packing, and they don’t include quite as much waiting around in lines and other random airport places. However, certain places are just too far away for a road trip to be logistically pleasant. Most of my extended family lives in either upstate New York or South Florida, and the thought of a 33 hour drive (one-way!) with multiple toddlers and babies is daunting. Doable, perhaps, if necessary – but difficult, and the driving time ends up taking away from the time spent visiting family, since time away from work is inherently limited. So sometimes planes win, despite my distaste.

When a plane flight becomes necessary, the next order of business is to find a route and time. We were able to find a non-stop this time around, which is preferable for obvious reasons, but when it isn’t (like when we went to visit the New York branch of the family last year) I think it is easier to have one long leg and one short leg, so the littlest kids can (hopefully!) nap during the long flight. They do take a while to settle down, even when they’re young and tired enough to sleep comfortably on a parent’s lap.

As far as times go, I am of mixed feelings. When we flew with an almost-two-year-old and a six-month-old, the redeye flight was perfect for us. They both slept well through the whole flight and relieved us of the difficulty of entertaining two fidgety, trapped children for 5 hours. This year, however, with a three-year-old and an eighteen-month-old, the redeye was a bit more challenging. It took the boys a lot longer to settle down, and it was harder for them to get comfortable and to stay asleep. So my advice would be to take the redeye with babies (especially if they are good attached sleepers – I wouldn’t have wanted to fly with Rondel as an infant even though he’s great now), but try for daytime flights with slightly older children. Daytime flights have the added benefit of setting kids up for a good first night’s sleep on the vacation, instead of messing with their sleep schedules and leaving you with exhausted and cranky kids on the first day there.

And what do you do with those kids on the airplane?

I have to admit that I rely fairly heavily on snacks, especially snacks of a sort we don’t often eat at home – goldfish, chocolate granola bars, and so on. If I’d really been thinking ahead we would also have had healthier options like cheese, apples, and other fruits, but I wasn’t as prepared this time. Books are also great on an airplane, where you do have the chance to sit next to your kids and read to them that is often missing on a road trip and really helps with pre-readers! A few toys can be good, but I limit my kids at this age to two each (so they can carry them and I can easily keep track of them), and I make sure they aren’t too small or too round and rollable. Paper and pencils are also good, but as with the toys, I try to limit the options so that crayons and pencils aren’t falling all over the seats and rolling under the chairs. I try not to use devices and videos unless my margin is almost gone and the kids have reached a breaking point, because if I have the emotional energy for it I’d rather use the forced time together to interact and relate, kind of on the principle of it – but a video is far better than losing your temper and screaming at (or with!) your kids on the airplane 🙂

What are some of your experiences and tips for plane travel?

Posted in family life

no one gets excited about birthdays like a little kid

Posted on by kristinabean

July is an busy time of year for birthdays in my extended family: my brother is on the 5th, Rondel is on the 11th, and my grandmother is on the 14th. It’s especially exciting this year because it’s my grandma’s 80th birthday and we’re spending some time with her for the occasion, so the birthday celebration is much larger and more immediate than normal!

With his understanding of the concept of a birthday greatly increased from last year, Rondel has thrown himself into the family celebrations with great gusto. When we all sang Happy Birthday to my brother, Rondel was so excited that he got up and ran around the room in circles through the whole song, and then proceeded to watch and “help” my brother open his presents. Just this morning, when Bisa Carmen came over and we asked him if he wanted to sing to her, he circled the room 5 or 6 times singing “happy birthday to you!” at the top of his voice with such a big smile that he couldn’t help laughing from sheer happiness at the end of every phrase.

He’s been reaping the benefits of visiting extended family around his birthday, too, with extra cake and presents at multiple events along the way (although he somehow now thinks he had two birthdays instead of one and should thus be four years old instead of three).

But at his birthday party back at home, which was going to be just a fun playdate with the cousins with swimming and cake thrown in, he was too tired and sick to really enjoy the festivities.

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sick kid sitting up just long enough to blow out the candles
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With a little help from Daddy 🙂

Limerick and the cousins played while Rondel rested on the couch, and he didn’t have the appetite to eat any of his birthday cake.

Not that he didn’t still have some fun, but it was more toned down. If we hadn’t been leaving to visit the extended family the next day, I would have postponed the party, but it wasn’t logistically doable.

So, I am glad the celebration was able to continue into the vacation, so he could have the full birthday joy – both on the giving and the receiving end.

Posted in family life

best friends

Posted on by kristinabean

Rondel has a rudimentary understanding of the concept of “best friends” from watching the Pixar Cars movie, where Mater and Lightning are best friends despite the major differences in their personalities and experiences. The other day, this conversation took place between him and his daddy on the topic:

R: Lightning McQueen and Mater are best friends!

D: Yeah! Do you have a best friend?

R: You do!

D: Is your best friend Mommy?

R: No, your best friend is [Limerick]!

What’s fun for me (and also really rewarding) is to watch this play out in everyday life. When Limerick went down for his nap the day before yesterday, Rondel came up to me with a sad expression on his face, asking where he was because he wanted him. When I told them it was bedtime yesterday because they were acting tired, Rondel declared he wasn’t tired and began a huge list of all the things he was doing instead of acting tired, about five of which included Limerick. When they were showering off after the beach yesterday, Rondel started bopping Limerick with one of his floaties and then stuck his belly out so Limerick could bop him back with the other floaty. And when Rondel was crying hysterically in the car earlier today (because we only had cold water for him instead of ice water – he was really tired), he was only able to calm himself down when I asked him if he could try to calm down for Limerick, since the crying was starting to scare Limerick. He really loves his little brother, in a caring and self-denying way as well as in a playful companion way.

When I read the quote about a new sibling being one of the best gifts you can give to your child, I look at the relationship between Rondel and Limerick and feel that in this case at least it is very, very true. Rondel has matured in so many ways through being an older brother, and had so many happy experiences as well. I have no doubt that our new baby will only expand and deepen the friendship and joy within our family, especially since the boys are already anticipating his or her arrival with great excitement and periodically hug my belly as proxy for hugging the baby, and I am looking forward to watching those relationships unfold as well. And for now, I will enjoy the closeness between my boys and pray that it stays that way for years to come.