rondel – Page 19 – little thoughts

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – enjoying the end of summer

Posted on 2015-09-242016-03-17 by kristinabean

The garden is starting to take off! I think this is one of my favorite times of year, when I get to watch the new life springing up out of the ground. We’ll see if they make it to an actual harvest though 🙂 I don’t have the greenest thumb in the world!

{pretty}

{happy}

And of course it is still warm enough here to play at the splash pad in the afternoons (and probably in the mornings too, to be honest – our highs are just beginning to flirt with the 90’s when storm fronts come through, and then they jump back up to triple digits). Rather than mourn the lack of any significant autumnal season, we’re choosing to enjoy the summer fun as long as we can. Honestly, too, those late summer storms make this one of my favorite times of year: the nights are sometimes cool enough to leave the windows open, the mornings are fresh and clean-feeling, the days are softly warm and perfect for water play, and in the evenings the great dark clouds roll in with thunder and pouring rain.

{funny}

Rondel’s developing his own will, figuring out how social dynamics work, and beginning to test some boundaries (not much, though – he’s a pretty compliant child). I’m actually really enjoying seeing his own preferences and opinions grow, and watching him learn how to express them in appropriate ways! A funny side effect of it is this little fake pouty face that he makes when he wants someone to do something in a very specific way, and he knows that it’s a kind of ridiculous want, so he tries to pout when he doesn’t get it but can’t quite keep a straight face.

{real}

When do babies normally start holding their own bottles? Limerick can’t seem to coordinate his. Sometimes he’ll try to pick it up by the nipple and then stuff the nipple in his mouth (sort of in the same way that he’d pick up a bit of food and stuff it in his mouth), and a couple times he’s managed to get his hands around the bottle part and lift it up, but then he doesn’t seem quite sure how to get the right part into his mouth. So in the meantime we hold it for him when he gets thirsty.

(That’s my hand holding the bottle… his are passively at his side. Sigh.)

I hope all of you in other parts of the country are enjoying your beautiful fall weather! Join me at the LMLD link up today!

family life, quotes

ring-a-ring-a-rosy

Posted on 2015-09-182015-09-16 by kristinabean

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” – G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

I thought of this quote the other night after I showed Rondel how to play ring-a-ring-a-rosy… we must have spun around and fallen down at least 30 times! He definitely has a vitality and freedom and intensity of spirit that age has dulled in me. The joyous repetition of early childhood is a much more beautiful and wonderful thing than the mechanical repetition of tedious grown-up work though, that is certain. Maybe I can find more joy in the sustaining, continuing, daily tasks of home and work by approaching them with this attitude of continually renewed delight and wonder, instead of as chores on a list…

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – a busy week

Posted on 2015-09-17 by kristinabean

I really do have some great pictures this week from our visit to the splashpad on Tuesday (I’m trying to go as much as possible while the weather is still warm, because it’s a great way to get the kids out of the house), but I haven’t gotten them uploaded from my camera.

There should be some pictures of our little garden on there too. We’ve planted beets, corn, basil, sage, mint, and oregano so far and they’re doing ok, except for a row of the corn that looks pretty burnt. Now that it’s starting to get cooler, though (highs in the 90s!) I’d like to plant my leafy greens for the fall growing season, too – it’s just about the right time to plant cilantro, arugula, kale, and spinach – all of which seem to be hard to eat when purchased from a store but which are tossed easily into just about every meal when available in the backyard garden. Do you find that to be true in your house as well? The store-bought produce will often go bad before I use it all up (especially greens), but anything that we grow ourselves is devoured immediately!

Sometimes it seems like life is a juggling act and I’m a very clumsy juggler – at least one ball always seems to be getting dropped. On a positive note, we got a lot of laundry and house-cleaning done this weekend, thanks to my very helpful husband, so I don’t feel overwhelmed in every area of life right now, just the normal two to three areas. The kids had peed on all the beds so the laundry was fairly important… and spilled a bowl of cereal (dry) under the couch, so vacuuming was rather needed as well… so it goes with toddlers, I suppose.

I do have a {real} picture for the first time, though, from one of the more hectic nights this week!

What do you do with a baby who wants to see what you’re doing and be in the kitchen but won’t consent to being held still in a wrap and is too unsteady and short to stand on a chair? I don’t know what your solution is, but apparently mine is to let him play sans diaper in the kitchen sink… The toddler heard me putting said baby in the sink and requested to play as well, and surprisingly they played together in peace for the 10-15 minutes I needed to finish getting dinner made.

You can see all the groceries still sitting out on the counter too… they didn’t get put away until after bedtime. But at least it was all clean and straightened up before I went to bed, so I wouldn’t have to wake up to the mess! It’s the little things 🙂

Don’t forget to head over to the link-up and visit other blogs! It’s encouraging to see the crazy and the happy in everyone else’s life, at least for me – it gives me the reassurance that we’re all in this together and no one is doing it perfectly, but that we can all choose to see beauty and find contentment right where we are.

book lists, family life

favorite books at just past two

Posted on 2015-09-152015-09-14 by kristinabean

I think it is a good idea to keep track of the best and most-loved books I come across, if for nothing else than to remember to pull them out for younger siblings or give them as gifts to friends and family 🙂 These are some of our favorites – books that Rondel asks for over and over again and that can be read over and over again by me or my husband without inducing insanity.

Just for reference, at the time of this list, Rondel is 26 months old.

Corduroy, by Don Freeman, 1976

This is a classic story about friendship and home, from the perspective of a toy bear looking for his button. Everyday things and circumstances are described with the kind of wide-eyed wonder that a little kid is going to have as he encounters the world, without losing their simplicity. I think it is hard to capture that kind of innocence in an urban setting in kids’ books, at least from the books that I’ve read, and so this book is great for those of us who live in the city and can’t rely on nature to fuel our children’s sense of wonder and exploration. But more than that, Corduroy the bear is simply an endearing character who quickly finds a place in the reader’s heart. Despite this being a longer book, Rondel asks for it often and gives it rapt attention.

Cars and Trucks and Things That Go, by Richard Scarry, 1974

This has been a favorite of my son’s for a long time now! It can be read cover-to-cover for the story of the Pig family going to the beach, or simply enjoyed on a page-by-page basis for the illustrations and humor. At this point we usually just read a page or two at a time, because it is a long book and Rondel is more interested in the different vehicles on each page than in the story anyway. Especially if your child is obsessed with cars and trucks, this is a good book to have in your home library.

A Child’s Treasury of Nursery Rhymes, collected by Kady MacDonald Denton, 1998

I’m sure there are a lot of excellent poetry collections available for younger kids, but this is ours, and we love it. Rondel has been asking to read from it at bedtime every day for several weeks now, and when we read from it during the day he keeps asking for more. He’s starting to have favorite poems as well, like the flying-man poem or the chuff-chuff-chuff train poem. Because each poem is illustrated, he has visual anchors to connect with the words and rhythms, which is an advantage over my other favorite poetry collection. There are of course a few poems that feel odd and out of place, or not quite appropriate for the age of the intended audience, but overall the poems are perfect in feel and content and the layout of words and pictures on each page is very well done. The poems lend themselves quite well to finger games, roughhousing, and cuddling also!

Little Fur Family, by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Garth Williams, 1970

This book is, in my mind, very similar to Corduroy in the way it captures the wonder and simplicity of everyday life. In this case, the setting is a normal day in the life of a little fur child who lives in the woods. He spends all day playing outside by himself, making discoveries, observing the world around him with all his senses; Brown uses simple but evocative language to describe what he sees and feels and hears. Then, at the end of the day, he returns home to the comfort and security of his family, whose love and presence is clearly shown. I have always loved this book, even as a single adult. The prose has just enough meter to feel rhythmic and almost musical without falling into a rhyme-y or sing-song pattern, and the illustrations are absolutely beautiful.

“Could Be Worse!”, by James Stevenson, 1987

This book is definitely intended for slightly older children, but Rondel enjoys the vibrant illustrations, the repeated theme (“Could be worse!”), and the ridiculously tall tale unexpectedly told by the grandpa. He doesn’t get all the humor, or some of the more subtle layers of the book, but he likes it enough anyways to ask for it 5-6 times a day! I have a suspicion that he pictures his own grandpa doing some of the crazier things in the story… 🙂

In addition to these top five, there are quite a few board books that Rondel loves and that are easier to read when Limerick is around, since he has a tendency to try to rip the picture books. But I will save those for another post as this one is already quite long!

family life

no no no no (and no!)

Posted on 2015-09-072015-09-14 by kristinabean

Rondel is entering toddlerhood and with that has come a marked uptick in his use of the word “no.”

“Do you want to go to the library?” (one of his favorite destinations)

“no library!”

“Are you hungry?”

“no hungry! no food! no dinner!” (followed by a blood sugar crash about 30 minutes later)

He’ll even hear me offering something to Limerick and say no for him!

I’m not even sure what he was unhappy about here… this pool was one of his favorite places over the summer

I know on a rational level that this is normal and good. The development of opinion, will, and identity is an extremely important aspect of toddlerhood, and when the pendulum swings away from the automatic compliance of babyhood it tends to swing a bit farther than we parents would like. Rondel’s petulance and negativity are simply part and parcel of his growing up, of the huge transition taking place in his mind as it matures, and they probably overwhelm him, and throw him off balance, just as much as they irritate me.

In the moment, however, it is incredibly hard to deal with the litany of “no!”s and respond to my boy with patience, gentleness, and love. If I’m honest with myself, I sometimes just want to scream at him to shut up and stop saying no. But that would be so detrimental to his development as an individual! While his will needs to ultimately submit to God’s authority, just like every other part of his being, it needs to be able to grow and mature so that in its submission to God it is a complete, beautiful, and useful tool. So instead of trying to break or control his will as it emerges from the cocoon of babyhood, my responsibility as his parent is to guide its maturation – to give him the space and freedom to use it and experience the natural fallout of using it, within clear and safe boundaries of course 🙂

connection and communication – that’s the goal, anyway

Let’s just say I’m going to need an increase in the fruit of the Spirit to match this increase of the Little Man’s will! With God’s grace, I’m hoping we can make it through this season with joy, trust, and understanding intact, instead of turning our relationship into a never-ending power struggle.

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – birthday fun!

Posted on 2015-09-032015-09-14 by kristinabean

Still playing catch up on the pictures here… I have pictures from this week but they’re still on the camera and I’ve got all of August’s pictures to process first! Hopefully I’ll be up-to-date for next week 🙂

{pretty}

For Rondel’s second birthday back in July we visited the zoo! And our zoo, being in a hot desert environment, obligingly has a spashpad where the kids can cool down. Limerick was a huge fan.

{happy}

This baby is seriously in love with water play – here he’s enjoying one of the Rondel’s birthday presents.

And here’s Rondel himself enjoying the water! He’s a bit more cautious than his brother but once he gets past his initial reluctance he has a lot of fun.

{funny}

I don’t actually have any pictures of him looking happy while opening presents, even the Hotwheels Mustangs from Grandpa – he was just so utterly serious about the whole process! It’s really neat how important every little thing is to toddlers, and how all the experiences we are so familiar with are brand new and somewhat exciting, challenging, and frightening all at once to them, because of course they haven’t lived through it all before.

{real}

My sister got Rondel these peas and we made the mistake of letting him open the afore-mentioned Mustangs first… he had eyes for no other gifts once he saw those cars! Limerick, however, decided that the peas could be for him instead, if no one else wanted them, and immediately attacked them with great delight.

It’s very nice, you know, how little kids don’t hold you to some standard of perfection as their parent – they just ask for your love and attention. They don’t really care about the presents, or about how beautiful the cake was (creatively imagined but only somewhat successfully executed, if you want to know), or about how many people are there celebrating them. I’m sure their desires and expectations will grow with them, but so will my understanding of them and my relationship with them, and it is this knowledge that we’ll be growing together that keeps me from feeling overwhelmed about all the parenting milestones ahead of me.

So happy 2nd birthday Rondel! Here’s to many more years of love and laughter together.

(Go check out the other {p,h,f,r} posts through the link-up at Like Mother, Like Daughter!)

family life

sickness, trucks, and night-time prayers – a rather rambling post

Posted on 2015-08-312015-09-14 by kristinabean

It’s been a long week – Rondel woke up Wednesday morning with a fever but essentially no other symptoms; by Friday he was up to 103 and throwing up. According to the doctor at the urgent care, he had an ear infection and probably strep throat as well, poor kid. We’ve been very thankful for antibiotics and firetruck videos this weekend!

(For anyone else with truck-crazed toddlers, there is a cool series called “Mighty Machines” that we’ve been enjoying. It basically just shows you what different types of trucks do, using real trucks with voice-overs so that it’s like the trucks themselves are describing how they work and what they do. It’s at a kids’ level without talking down to the audience, and has a slow, relaxed feel to it so it won’t get your kid too hyper!)

On top of the sickness, Rondel has been having a resurgence of separation anxiety, which from what I’ve read is fairly common at his age, which means either my husband or I (usually my husband) has been lying down with him to help him go to sleep. (I’m of the opinion that meeting my kids’ needs with love is better than ignoring them, or leaving him to panic and cry alone until he falls asleep from sheer exhaustion – after all, if I were anxious and tired and just wanted someone to hold me – which has definitely happened in my adult life and is more likely to happen at certain hormonal junctures if you know what I mean! – I would feel so much more loved and valued if my husband met those needs. Or wants. But they’re pretty powerful emotional desires, and while I can rationalize enough to understand that they’re not necessarily needs and that my husband has other demands on his time, I don’t expect my two-year-old to have that ability. But I digress.)

Anyway, last night I laid with him and he didn’t fall asleep until almost 10. I kept thinking he was asleep but then I would move and he would roll over and not feel me there and his scared little voice would say, “Mommy?” so I’d have to reassure him again. I was really starting to feel exhausted and exasperated – I just wanted to walk out and tell him it was time to go to sleep, and let him cry, because my reserve of love to give was just about dried up. I tried to pray but even my prayers felt dry, my words hollow, my heart not in it. Maybe this was because I was just praying for him to go to sleep instead of praying for the grace to love him better…

I don’t remember why, but instead of continuing to try to pray those futile, self-centered little prayers of desperation, I started to pray the Rosary over my boy as I sat by the side of his bed and held his hand (my back was hurting too much by that point to continue to lie down next to him). And as the words left my mouth – written, memorized, unoriginal words, as my Protestant background would call them – my heart seemed to fill back up with love. I prayed the three Hail Marys for faith, hope, and love, and I realized my own lack of love for my little boy who just needed and wanted the reassurance of his parents’ presence and love for him. His little hand tightened on my fingers and I thought about how Mary must have felt at the foot of the cross, seeing her baby boy dying in excruciating pain, unable to help him, maybe remembering how his little hand had slipped into hers so trustingly and innocently all those years ago, at that moment when she knew she’d never be able to feel his hand in hers again. And I prayed the first decade for the day – the glorious mystery of the resurrection from the dead – and prayed with all my heart for my son to enter into the fullness of life that her son came to give us, and for my life here and now to be filled with that new and righteous life as well, that I might love more completely.

It’s been a long week but we are not alone. Even in the darkness in the middle of the night, our Mother is there to hold us and help us and take us back to her Son, our Lord, who is even nearer than she, and loves us even more.