rondel – Page 16 – little thoughts

silly kids being kids

Posted on 2016-03-152016-03-14 by kristinabean

The dishwasher rack made it outside for a day, as the accessory and prop to many different pretend plays:

Shortly thereafter I replaced it into the dishwasher and the boys haven’t pulled it out again yet, so I suppose the novelty has worn off a bit. It was a bit of a large and obtrusive play thing so I don’t mind it being back in it’s rightful home and out of my hallway!

(With regards to these pictures – I found the old kit lens that came with my camera and while it is really sensitive to poor lighting, it is really nice for close-up shots as it can get down to 18mm, as opposed to my main shooting lens which is a fixed-width at 50mm. Unfortunately, unless I’m in bright sunlight it distorts and washes out the colors to a certain extent. I’ve been simultaneously enjoying the flexibility of the wide-angle option in the often small and enclosed places we occupy, and remembering why I had put the lens away in a drawer in the first place…)

Sometimes I can follow what the boys are doing, like when they count stone and grass squares as they hop on them,

or dance around and around in circles until they (pretend to) fall down (with little brother watching and doing his best to follow the leader),

but sometimes I just really have no idea what is going on inside their heads:

At least I know that every day will hold something new or unexpected 🙂 I know that whether the boys have fun playing together or whether they have to work through conflicts, whether they are happy little explorers or clingy sad babies, whether we deal with each other with patience and grace or tightly restrained frustration, each day is an adventure we will have together, a time to learn and love and grow together. And I love them, and they love me – my life is so full of blessings.

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – in which some oddities of my family are revealed

Posted on 2016-03-102016-03-10 by kristinabean

Let me preface this week’s edition of {p,h,f,r} by telling you that all these pictures come from the same day, and that this day is not really that extraordinary of a day for us – I just happened to have my camera on hand for most of it. I feel like my goal is calm, ordered, semi-normal routines, but the reality of our family life is spontaneous, diverse, and weird. Or maybe it is just the things that fill in the routines that are strange… we still do have normal activities each day like naps and meals and baths 😛

{pretty}

On this particular day we visited the zoo for my nephew’s birthday. I am not a huge fan of large groups of people with small children trying to do the zoo together, but it worked out alright and we were able to go at the kids’ pace. We saw the flamingos and the monkeys and got to go inside the aviary, which are all highlights for my boys. One thing I love about the zoo is getting to see the incredible beauty and diversity of the animal kingdom!

Their eyes are a bit unnerving, but I love the graceful curve of their necks and the soft overlay of their feathers.

{happy}

Another nice aspect of our local zoo is that it has a small splash pad just right for smaller kids – it is a great way to unwind and cool off before heading home, especially when the weather is warmer. Limerick was already past his nap time but the water (and birthday cake) gave us an extra 30-45 minutes with the extended family.

Rondel hung back at first but about 10 minutes later he was down to his diaper, running and dancing and laughing in the water.

Limerick ran right at the camera with his signature goofy grin 🙂

{funny}

After nap we had a pretty relaxed afternoon, reading books, playing at home, etc., and while I was making dinner I left the kids to their own devices.

Maybe that wasn’t the wisest idea.

But it was certainly amusing! And we don’t use the dishwasher, so I didn’t really mind the boys playing with the rack. Later that evening I found a pile of random objects behind the office door and Rondel informed me that they had been recycled by his stuffed monkeys, who carried them there in their dump truck (the dishwasher rack).

Could there be a more random assortment of items?

{real}

This was part of dinner cooking in its early stages – baby gold potatoes cooked in chicken broth. Everything was going well and then I got distracted by the kids’ creativity and hilarity and came running back to the kitchen to discover all the broth evaporated (which was supposed to happen) and the potatoes all sticking to the skillet (which was not supposed to happen). Sigh. They still tasted good though! In my dream house, the kitchen wouldn’t be a little closet of a room disconnected from everything else…

There would also be better lighting for indoor picture-taking, I think. You know, if we’re dreaming here 🙂 One of the drawbacks of a town home is that there aren’t many available walls for windows!

Head on over to the link up at Like Mother, Like Daughter and check out some of the other blogs! It’s always fun to see the craziness that goes on in other people’s families, to know we’re not the only ones 🙂

family life

rondel’s tools

Posted on 2016-03-072016-03-06 by kristinabean

Rondel has discovered the power of tools and is accordingly deeply fascinated with anything that can be described as a tool in some sense or other. He’s unearthed a play tool set his uncle bought for him a couple Christmases ago and has been fixing everything in sight with them:

He also spent the whole afternoon on Monday, while I was at the doctor with Limerick, watching his dad (for whom I still don’t have a good blog name) fix his bike, and doing his best to help in the process with both his own tools and Daddy’s tools 🙂

I think the whole concept of things as tools is a good one for him, because it elevates his play from something trivial to something valuable, practical, and helpful – not that I think any of his play is trivial, or course, but the word “toy” does tend to give a thing or an activity a feeling of lesser importance. In using tools, he’s modeling what he sees in the world around him, and practicing in his own pretend world the skills he wants to copy from the adults around him. It’s just another type of play, like imaginative play, or pretend social play, or physical play, or musical play, and it’s neat to see him diving into different areas like that without prompting, and developing in different ways because of it.

The vocabulary of tools is also helpful for me when I’m teaching him how to use something safely, or having to take something away from him that’s not appropriate for him to use yet – like knives, scissors, markers, tweezers, and so on. Instead of having to just tell him he’s not allowed to use something, I can tell him that it is a tool with a specific purpose and a specific set of safety and use instructions 🙂 So some tools he can use almost anywhere, but others can only be used when Mommy is there, or can only be carried at a walk and held in a certain way. The instructions have a context then (the context of tools), so it’s easier for him to remember them and less likely that he’ll challenge them. It’s always nice to stumble upon little parenting hacks like that… 🙂

I wonder if this interest in tools is just a phase of life-discovery for him or if he’s going to be one of those boys who figures out how to take everything apart and rebuild it – he certainly would come by it naturally, with the mechanical sense that both my mom and my husband have! I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see.

family life, musings

unplanned babies (the blessing of limerick)

Posted on 2016-02-25 by kristinabean

After Rondel was born, we struggled a lot with the transition from “couple” to “family.” I had PPD for months, my husband was exhausted from being up with a sleepless baby and trying to encourage a miserable wife, and Rondel was becoming anxious and easily overstimulated. We were all on edge and our margins were just about the lowest they’ve ever been. And so, clearly, we thought it was the worst imaginable time to have another baby.

Although at that time I didn’t quite grasp the theology of the body that informs the purpose and ethical applications of sex, I had an instinctual dislike of contraceptives, for various reasons: I didn’t like having to take a pill everyday with hormones that were going to influence far more than just my reproductive system, barrier methods felt awkward and incomplete, like we weren’t actually coming together in the one flesh of marriage, and we obviously weren’t at a point to consider permanent sterilization as a means of contraception. So we were charting and tracking and being really careful – and then we found out we were pregnant, just 7 months after Rondel was born.

It wasn’t our plan at all. Looking back at the charts, it makes no biological sense that we got pregnant when we did.

But you know the beauty of it? Because it wasn’t our plan, because we were walking through the tension of stewarding our resources well while remaining open to God’s plan for new life, we were relieved of the constant fear that we’d made a mistake every time that things were difficult. This baby wasn’t our choice – he was God’s choice, and God is someone we can trust.

And as the months went by, we saw the profound good that Limerick brought to our family: the pregnancy hormones that snapped me out of PPD, the reevaluations of my lifestyle and parenting choices that made me a gentler and less anxious mother, the small and vulnerable baby that showed Rondel how to care for someone weaker and more needy than himself, the bold and mischievous toddler who is helping Rondel learn to share, negotiate, and adapt even as he learns those things himself.

If we had made it about our plan and our wisdom and our choices, Limerick wouldn’t be here, bringing his incredible blessing into our family – and that is a huge reason why, now, I would not choose to contracept or sterilize. Who knows what other unforeseen good God wants to bring into our lives? Why would I want to close myself off to that blessing, just because I cannot picture it clearly in my mind now?

family life

turning trucks into boats

Posted on 2016-02-20 by kristinabean

Limerick was having a rough time this morning, between teething and a late night on Friday, so I took some time to try to put him down for an early nap (which didn’t work, unfortunately). When we came back downstairs to see what Rondel had been doing unsupervised for the previous half hour, I found him in the back yard:

He’d taken some parts from his big HotWheels construction set, set all of our Duplo people (including the bear and the puppy) up in it, and was pretending that it was a boat sailing on the water.

He moved all of his trucks out of the way so the boat would have room to sail around, and told me how maybe the boat would tip in the water and the bear would have to help pull the little boy back onto the boat.

I’ve never heard him play anything related to boats before, and I’ve never seen him use the Duplo people with other types of toys before. He was so excited about it 🙂 I was excited too, because it showed me that he could imagine a toy to be something it was not, and use it that way in his pretend play. In other words, he’s not locked in to seeing a truck as a truck, all the time.

It’s so neat to watch him at this age, discovering his imagination and creativity, coming up with situations and stories and keeping himself occupied with his own head and hands for a good 45 minutes without any problem. He’s so different from the baby he once was, not because the core of his self has changed, but because he’s grown and matured so much, and it’s my privilege to watch and guide and love him as he grows.

family life

a family valentine’s date

Posted on 2016-02-142016-02-14 by kristinabean

It was warm enough this afternoon for us to take the boys to the splash pad a few miles from our house – and warm enough that half the town seemed to have the same idea! It was crowded, exuberant, and refreshing.

Limerick examined the whole splash pad and all the people playing in it very thoroughly and methodically, while Rondel ran back and forth from the fountains to me with ever-changing expressions and exclamations. We were there for close to two hours, only leaving when it was time for dinner, and it was so nice to be able to spend that special time as a whole family, enjoying our Sunday afternoon together.

Another neat thing about this particular park is how diverse the people are! I would guess that today it was about 50% Hispanic, 30% White, 15% African American, and 15% Native American, give or take 5% on each one. Granted, I’m a horrible estimator, but you get the general idea. I love that my kids get to see and play with kids who don’t look like them, especially since our church (despite having a black lead pastor) is primarily white. If they can grow up with diversity being part of their everyday lives, maybe they’ll be able to escape the undercurrents of white supremacy in our nation that give support to men like Donald Trump. Maybe they’ll be able to be proud of their traditions and culture while also valuing and loving the traditions and cultures of others who are not like them. Will they get that all from playing at a park? Of course not – but principles are absorbed into the heart and will through the daily experiences that confirm them.

How did you all spend your Valentine’s Day?

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – a warm spell

Posted on 2016-02-112016-02-11 by kristinabean

After an exceptionally cold January, we seem to be having a record-breakingly warm February – which means the weather has been absolutely perfect for enjoying our cool and shady little backyard and patio again! The main disadvantage of the backyard is that there isn’t enough space for the boys to actually run; the two main advantages are that it is completely child-safe so my baby can play without feeling the need to constantly test the limits, and that I can slip into the house to do dishes or dinner prep if necessary (the kitchen window opens right onto the patio).

{pretty}

Look at those eyes. Oh my goodness. He’s so beautiful… and at the same time so mischievous! He takes delight in crossing boundaries in a way my firstborn never did – but he is also far more bold and adventurous. He’s at least six months younger than Rondel was when he finally became comfortable on a slide, for example, and he’ll go up and down time and time again, even on the tall slides at the playground.

The white stuff all over him is cloud dough; the back patio is the perfect place for messy play like that, and I let the boys migrate to the yard to play more before bringing them in for a bath.

{happy}

One of Rondel’s most-loved Christmas presents (which we actually opened nearer to Epiphany) was this set of construction trucks from my parents, supplemented with another construction set my in-laws had found for him over a year ago. These trucks live in a special spot in the garden, where I had a summer crop planted but then left empty for the sake of these trucks. Rondel spends so much time here digging with the trucks and telling me what they are building and doing, and I love watching him!

{funny}

He asked me to take a picture of him eating a leaf and this is the best I got because he wouldn’t look at me! In Arizona, early spring is one of the most fruitful times of year because all the winter crops are flourishing as the few night freezes fade and are forgotten. Right now we have four types of lettuce, arugula, kale, cilantro, oregano, and mint in our main garden, and English peas growing around the trellised garden by the walls (Yes! They can grow out here in the low desert! They just need the right microenvironment, which our tiny yard happens to provide.) Rondel, in his typical information-accumulating way, can identify all the different plants that we have, and enjoys snacking on them while playing outside. The arugula is apparently a bit too “spicy” for his taste, though 🙂

{real}

Limerick wants to do everything his big brother does, but Rondel isn’t always happy about having a small interfering shadow. I’m discovering that if I try to persuade Rondel to accept Limerick’s presence, he usually refuses outright, but if I redirect Limerick or let them drift together slowly, Rondel will make space for his brother to join him, and include him in his games. This was a rare moment where they were playing happily next to each other without Limerick destroying Rondel’s creations in his attempt to be like and play with the brother he adores.

Don’t forget to join the link-up today at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

family life

Limerick and Rondel together

Posted on 2016-01-302016-01-28 by kristinabean

Limerick has very little patience with adults trying to make him do something off his agenda, like dress him, change his diaper, hold him still, keep him away from forbidden or unsafe objects, and so on. To my mind this is completely reasonable toddler behavior and it doesn’t bother me at all. What interests me, though, is how incredibly patient he is with Rondel whenever Rondel decides to do something to him.

Limerick may be walking or crawling or climbing somewhere and Rondel will randomly grab him into a hug; Limerick just stops, rests his head against Rondel, and waits until the hug is done before proceeding with his activity. If Rondel pats Limerick’s head or squeezes his knee, Limerick just watches him curiously and doesn’t try to move away. And at the park, when Rondel decided to pour sand over Limerick’s head, he didn’t seem to mind at all:

just ignore Rondel’s very long and messy hair… I know we need to get it cut 🙂

Something about his big brother is unendingly and endearingly fascinating for Limerick, to the point where he’ll set aside almost anything else to put up with Rondel’s affection and attention, or follow him around the house to investigate what he’s doing. It’s not always rainbows and roses, of course: Limerick’s interest often leads to conflict with Rondel’s plans, and his still-developing coordination often causes unintentional bumps and broken constructions. But those moments of togetherness – whether they’re sweet and silly or rife with conflict and stress – are building their relationship and helping them to learn what friendship and family are all about.

family life

climbing ladders

Posted on 2016-01-21 by kristinabean

Someone learned how to climb the ladder at the park this week!

My policy with the kids at the park is that I’ll let them try anything they want to try, but I won’t help them except for spotting them on the first few attempts. I don’t want them to become dependent on my help to play, or to feel like they can’t accomplish hard things on their own. (And honestly, with two little ones I’m not able to hold both of their hands for whatever they might want to do!)

Rondel has always been a cautious baby, but lately I’ve seen him challenging himself and taking on new adventures, and seeming to enjoy the adrenaline rush and the feeling of accomplishment. It’s been really fascinating to watch him grow in that way! However, it was a bit of a surprise for me when he ran up and said he wanted to climb the ladder. Honestly, I didn’t think he’d be able to do it, and I was afraid he’d hurt himself, but I didn’t want him to catch my anxiety so I told him to go for it, and that I’d be right there behind him to make sure he didn’t fall. And he did it! I hung out near the ladder a few more times and then I could tell that he’d mastered it – he was going up and down with surprising dexterity given that he’d never tried it before that day.

In typical Rondel fashion, though, he managed to insert some theatrics into each trip up and down the ladder 🙂 He’s totally pretending to be stuck and need help… he finished going up about 10 seconds after I got this shot, though 🙂

Congratulations, big boy 🙂 You haven’t just conquered the ladder at the park – you’re learning how to conquer your fears and hurdle the obstacles in your path.

family life

before Christmas is totally gone…

Posted on 2016-01-04 by kristinabean

…I’d like to share some of our pictures from the season! (And knowing me, probably some random meditative thoughts as well…)

I had wanted to find a tabletop-sized tree for our home this Christmas, but it didn’t end up happening. However, the city generously provided us with a Christmas tree by putting one up in the center of downtown – conveniently located about two blocks away from our house 😉

It is, I suppose, the urban child’s equivalent of a tree out in the woods, uncut, decorated with a single candle perhaps, and ribbons, and cookies and popcorn for the birds – the sort of tree described in Temple Bailey’s exquisite Christmas story The Candle in the Forest. It is what we have, beautiful and special, and we make it meaningful by sharing our delight in it together.

(If you haven’t read The Candle in the Forest, you should remedy that as soon as you can. It is one of my favorite Christmas stories of all times, for how well it captures the beauty of simple traditions and family love and doing the best with what one has; I have never read it without tears.)

Even Limerick was sufficiently entranced by the lights and ornaments to cease his endless running (usually into the road) and examine the tree! And Rondel couldn’t get enough of it – he asked to see the tree everyday for at least two weeks after the city put it up.

The specialness, the difference, of the Christmas season stood out to him for the first time this year – for some reason everyone was making everything more beautiful, and baking special treats more often, and lighting different candles, and secretly collecting gifts to give. We read the Christmas story to him over and over again, revealing more of the story as the day grew nearer, and he delighted with us in the coming Baby because of whom all the celebration was taking place.

Babies are very precious things in the minds of toddlers – they are just about the only people smaller than toddlers, and so I think they evoke feelings of responsibility, power, and protective love: essentially, they give the toddler a foretaste of being an adult and specifically a parent, and the toddler finds it quite an exciting experience. Not that they could bear that responsibility for long, of course, and they don’t try to – but when you’re always the small and the weak, who needs to be helped and taught and directed and cared for, it’s nice to find someone even smaller and weaker whom you can help teach and take care of. Babies bring that gift, the opportunity to serve and be a blessing to someone else, to even the smallest children – and in becoming a baby, God reminds us of the importance of that gift. For He did not come to be served, although as a human baby He was helpless and needy; rather He came to serve us, with His life, with His death, and with His intercession for us before the throne of the Father for all eternity.

(more pictures to come in a few days!)