Posted in family life

when dinner plans and personalities collide

Does anyone else struggle with making daily dinners because you just get so tired of making the same things over and over again?

I’ve made so many good recipes in the past – recipes that were healthy, frugal, filling, and family-approved – but after making them every couple weeks for a few months, I get tired of them and want to move on. It’s really hard for me to repeat recipes unless they’re both easy and amazing…

Fortunately, I don’t usually have trouble being creative and improvising in the kitchen! That is one of my favorite things about cooking – taking some random ingredients and assembling them into a unified meal. I’ve had my flops but overall the meals turn out well and my family is happy, which is what counts!

The problem is that sometimes I just don’t have any ideas, and because I planned on creating and improvising instead of making a set schedule of tried-and-true recipes, I don’t always have ingredients on hand to make one of those “fall-back” recipes. Or, on the other hand, the thought of one of those meals just seems so boring and repetitive because I’ve made it so many times before (even if it’s been years since I actually made it). We have some pretty strange dinners when I’m stuck in a rut like this, or we eat up the odds and ends of leftover soups and pizzas in the freezer…

Anyway, this way of winging it is working now with only a toddler and baby but it won’t work forever! Any tips on how to combine my love of kitchen improvisation with the need for a schedule that I can grocery shop for and follow through on?

Posted in family life, musings

remembering grace

When you tried a new recipe for dinner and were excited about it and it totally flopped –

When your husband is too tired to give you a smile when he gets home from class –

When you’ve yelled at the toddler over (literal) spilled milk and lost patience with the baby –

When you realize you made a mistake with a project at work that means half the week and hundreds of dollars were wasted –

When you’re moving from attachment to RIE principles of parenting and beginning sleep training (of a sort) and the toddler is crying upstairs with anger –

When the floor is dirty and the table is dirty and the dishes are dirty and the one bright spot of the afternoon was the 15 minutes stolen away to clean the bathroom –

When all you want to do is cry (or maybe sleep) –

Then it is good to remember that you are not alone.

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Looking up from our tiny townhome backyard into a glorious expanse.

It is good to remember that there is grace. To open oneself up to the grace that God freely offers. To give thanks for that grace. To find rest in that grace, and then move forward to set things right in the strength of that grace. Setting things right in the power of His grace – that is our mission of redemption in the world, is it not? So often I am the one messing things up and introducing sin into my family and community, but He still gives me grace and extends the opportunity to work with Him, in His grace, to redeem what is broken and rescue what is lost.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, now is, and ever shall be, world without end.

Amen.

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – enjoying the end of summer

The garden is starting to take off! I think this is one of my favorite times of year, when I get to watch the new life springing up out of the ground. We’ll see if they make it to an actual harvest though 🙂 I don’t have the greenest thumb in the world!

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And of course it is still warm enough here to play at the splash pad in the afternoons (and probably in the mornings too, to be honest – our highs are just beginning to flirt with the 90’s when storm fronts come through, and then they jump back up to triple digits). Rather than mourn the lack of any significant autumnal season, we’re choosing to enjoy the summer fun as long as we can. Honestly, too, those late summer storms make this one of my favorite times of year: the nights are sometimes cool enough to leave the windows open, the mornings are fresh and clean-feeling, the days are softly warm and perfect for water play, and in the evenings the great dark clouds roll in with thunder and pouring rain.

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Rondel’s developing his own will, figuring out how social dynamics work, and beginning to test some boundaries (not much, though – he’s a pretty compliant child). I’m actually really enjoying seeing his own preferences and opinions grow, and watching him learn how to express them in appropriate ways! A funny side effect of it is this little fake pouty face that he makes when he wants someone to do something in a very specific way, and he knows that it’s a kind of ridiculous want, so he tries to pout when he doesn’t get it but can’t quite keep a straight face.

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When do babies normally start holding their own bottles? Limerick can’t seem to coordinate his. Sometimes he’ll try to pick it up by the nipple and then stuff the nipple in his mouth (sort of in the same way that he’d pick up a bit of food and stuff it in his mouth), and a couple times he’s managed to get his hands around the bottle part and lift it up, but then he doesn’t seem quite sure how to get the right part into his mouth. So in the meantime we hold it for him when he gets thirsty.

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(That’s my hand holding the bottle… his are passively at his side. Sigh.)

I hope all of you in other parts of the country are enjoying your beautiful fall weather! Join me at the LMLD link up today!

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Posted in family life, musings

what love looks like

Love looks like a lot of different things, of course. But in this season of my life I’m learning what it looks like in the context of family. And this is what I see – that love looks like:

…a father lying down with his toddler until he falls asleep, so that each day can end with comfort and presence instead of loneliness and tears

…a baby’s face bursting into smiles when he hears his big brother waking up after his nap

…a toddler letting his baby brother climb on top of him and get into his personal space, returning the hugs and kisses despite his natural inclination to want to push the baby away

…a grandma giving up precious time in her overloaded schedule to babysit her grandkids and offer invaluable service to her children

…an uncle fighting with his own anxieties and sensory struggles to be present and engaged in his nephew’s lives, despite the (very literal) chaos and mess that entails

…a grandpa showing interest in everything that the people he loves are interested in, from literature to technology to cars to “head-bonkers” with the baby

My husband and my mom are particularly gifted at active, serving, love, and it is from them that I’m learning the most these days, and it is to them that I’m most grateful right now. In their lives I begin to see the beauty in doing the laundry, washing the dishes, or changing a diaper – the depth of love that can be communicated in the small, mundane, tedious tasks of life, the discipline of holiness that can be learned by tackling those responsibilities for God with an attitude of love, and the hidden glory of persistence in doing good. For someone like me, who’s always had a head full of ideas and dreams and been somewhat oblivious to the needs of people right in front of me, and who’s started a hundred things with great intentions but completed relatively few of them, it’s an important lesson.

Posted in family life, quotes

ring-a-ring-a-rosy

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” – G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

I thought of this quote the other night after I showed Rondel how to play ring-a-ring-a-rosy… we must have spun around and fallen down at least 30 times! He definitely has a vitality and freedom and intensity of spirit that age has dulled in me. The joyous repetition of early childhood is a much more beautiful and wonderful thing than the mechanical repetition of tedious grown-up work though, that is certain. Maybe I can find more joy in the sustaining, continuing, daily tasks of home and work by approaching them with this attitude of continually renewed delight and wonder, instead of as chores on a list…

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – a busy week

I really do have some great pictures this week from our visit to the splashpad on Tuesday (I’m trying to go as much as possible while the weather is still warm, because it’s a great way to get the kids out of the house), but I haven’t gotten them uploaded from my camera.

There should be some pictures of our little garden on there too. We’ve planted beets, corn, basil, sage, mint, and oregano so far and they’re doing ok, except for a row of the corn that looks pretty burnt. Now that it’s starting to get cooler, though (highs in the 90s!) I’d like to plant my leafy greens for the fall growing season, too – it’s just about the right time to plant cilantro, arugula, kale, and spinach – all of which seem to be hard to eat when purchased from a store but which are tossed easily into just about every meal when available in the backyard garden. Do you find that to be true in your house as well? The store-bought produce will often go bad before I use it all up (especially greens), but anything that we grow ourselves is devoured immediately!

Sometimes it seems like life is a juggling act and I’m a very clumsy juggler – at least one ball always seems to be getting dropped. On a positive note, we got a lot of laundry and house-cleaning done this weekend, thanks to my very helpful husband, so I don’t feel overwhelmed in every area of life right now, just the normal two to three areas. The kids had peed on all the beds so the laundry was fairly important… and spilled a bowl of cereal (dry) under the couch, so vacuuming was rather needed as well… so it goes with toddlers, I suppose.

I do have a {real} picture for the first time, though, from one of the more hectic nights this week!

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What do you do with a baby who wants to see what you’re doing and be in the kitchen but won’t consent to being held still in a wrap and is too unsteady and short to stand on a chair? I don’t know what your solution is, but apparently mine is to let him play sans diaper in the kitchen sink… The toddler heard me putting said baby in the sink and requested to play as well, and surprisingly they played together in peace for the 10-15 minutes I needed to finish getting dinner made.

You can see all the groceries still sitting out on the counter too… they didn’t get put away until after bedtime. But at least it was all clean and straightened up before I went to bed, so I wouldn’t have to wake up to the mess! It’s the little things 🙂

Don’t forget to head over to the link-up and visit other blogs! It’s encouraging to see the crazy and the happy in everyone else’s life, at least for me – it gives me the reassurance that we’re all in this together and no one is doing it perfectly, but that we can all choose to see beauty and find contentment right where we are.

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Posted in book lists, family life

favorite books at just past two

I think it is a good idea to keep track of the best and most-loved books I come across, if for nothing else than to remember to pull them out for younger siblings or give them as gifts to friends and family 🙂 These are some of our favorites – books that Rondel asks for over and over again and that can be read over and over again by me or my husband without inducing insanity.

Just for reference, at the time of this list, Rondel is 26 months old.

Corduroy, by Don Freeman, 1976

This is a classic story about friendship and home, from the perspective of a toy bear looking for his button. Everyday things and circumstances are described with the kind of wide-eyed wonder that a little kid is going to have as he encounters the world, without losing their simplicity. I think it is hard to capture that kind of innocence in an urban setting in kids’ books, at least from the books that I’ve read, and so this book is great for those of us who live in the city and can’t rely on nature to fuel our children’s sense of wonder and exploration. But more than that, Corduroy the bear is simply an endearing character who quickly finds a place in the reader’s heart. Despite this being a longer book, Rondel asks for it often and gives it rapt attention.

Cars and Trucks and Things That Go, by Richard Scarry, 1974

This has been a favorite of my son’s for a long time now! It can be read cover-to-cover for the story of the Pig family going to the beach, or simply enjoyed on a page-by-page basis for the illustrations and humor. At this point we usually just read a page or two at a time, because it is a long book and Rondel is more interested in the different vehicles on each page than in the story anyway. Especially if your child is obsessed with cars and trucks, this is a good book to have in your home library.

A Child’s Treasury of Nursery Rhymes, collected by Kady MacDonald Denton, 1998

I’m sure there are a lot of excellent poetry collections available for younger kids, but this is ours, and we love it. Rondel has been asking to read from it at bedtime every day for several weeks now, and when we read from it during the day he keeps asking for more. He’s starting to have favorite poems as well, like the flying-man poem or the chuff-chuff-chuff train poem. Because each poem is illustrated, he has visual anchors to connect with the words and rhythms, which is an advantage over my other favorite poetry collection. There are of course a few poems that feel odd and out of place, or not quite appropriate for the age of the intended audience, but overall the poems are perfect in feel and content and the layout of words and pictures on each page is very well done. The poems lend themselves quite well to finger games, roughhousing, and cuddling also!

Little Fur Family, by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Garth Williams, 1970

This book is, in my mind, very similar to Corduroy in the way it captures the wonder and simplicity of everyday life. In this case, the setting is a normal day in the life of a little fur child who lives in the woods. He spends all day playing outside by himself, making discoveries, observing the world around him with all his senses; Brown uses simple but evocative language to describe what he sees and feels and hears. Then, at the end of the day, he returns home to the comfort and security of his family, whose love and presence is clearly shown. I have always loved this book, even as a single adult. The prose has just enough meter to feel rhythmic and almost musical without falling into a rhyme-y or sing-song pattern, and the illustrations are absolutely beautiful.

“Could Be Worse!”, by James Stevenson, 1987

This book is definitely intended for slightly older children, but Rondel enjoys the vibrant illustrations, the repeated theme (“Could be worse!”), and the ridiculously tall tale unexpectedly told by the grandpa. He doesn’t get all the humor, or some of the more subtle layers of the book, but he likes it enough anyways to ask for it 5-6 times a day! I have a suspicion that he pictures his own grandpa doing some of the crazier things in the story… 🙂

In addition to these top five, there are quite a few board books that Rondel loves and that are easier to read when Limerick is around, since he has a tendency to try to rip the picture books. But I will save those for another post as this one is already quite long!

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – labor day

For Labor Day my mom and I were both free (we work at academic institutions that frown upon working on Labor Day!) and I took the babies down to her house for the whole day. We spent the morning getting her garden ready for the fall planting season (all our seasons are different down here in the low desert) and swimming in her pool, then swam again in the afternoon after my husband and dad were finished working and could come down, and had a delicious gumbo for dinner courtesy of my mom and brother. I’ve never actually had a gumbo that I liked before… I think this one is going to have to enter my recipe files!

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climbing on the oregano in the raised bed garden!
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swimming with daddy

(By the way, I’m so thankful that we live near my parents! The boys and their grandparents have a really special relationship, and it always makes me happy to see all those people, whom I love so much, loving each other and enjoying time spent with each other.)

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Some advantages of helping my mom with her garden: transplants of oregano and mint to take home to my garden, along with some basil and sage from the nursery (we all went with her since she wanted some new pepper plants), and a bag full of processed oregano from the massive overgrown oregano bush! She and my brother have been processing the leaves with a bit of olive oil in the food processor and freezing it in ice cube trays (my idea – and I harvested the oregano – but they did the more tedious work of stripping the leaves). It really is a handy way to store excess fresh herbs, and then a cube can be pulled out to use as a sauté base for vegetables, or part of a light sauce for pasta, or even as an herby sauce for a white pizza.

(I thawed one last night and used it as the beginnings of a pasta salad dressing, with a touch more oil and a bit of red wine vinegar to brighten it up, in lieu of lemon juice)

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I love the look on this kid’s face! And he loves jumping into the pool (actually, he likes to hold your hands and kind of step in off the side into the water… he did jump all by himself with both feet a few times though!) – and swimming in the pool, and knocking Daddy down in the pool, and pretty much everything to do with the pool.

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having just jumped in to grandma

What’s my {real} for this week? Just that all good things come to an end, I guess 🙂 I’m not very good at getting pictures of the {real} in life, now that I think of it – maybe I’ll show you guys the state of my kitchen floor one week…

I hope you all had a great holiday weekend too! Check out the rest of the link-up here 🙂

Posted in family life

no no no no (and no!)

Rondel is entering toddlerhood and with that has come a marked uptick in his use of the word “no.”

“Do you want to go to the library?” (one of his favorite destinations)

“no library!”

“Are you hungry?”

“no hungry! no food! no dinner!” (followed by a blood sugar crash about 30 minutes later)

He’ll even hear me offering something to Limerick and say no for him!

I’m not even sure what he was unhappy about here… this pool was one of his favorite places over the summer

I know on a rational level that this is normal and good. The development of opinion, will, and identity is an extremely important aspect of toddlerhood, and when the pendulum swings away from the automatic compliance of babyhood it tends to swing a bit farther than we parents would like. Rondel’s petulance and negativity are simply part and parcel of his growing up, of the huge transition taking place in his mind as it matures, and they probably overwhelm him, and throw him off balance, just as much as they irritate me.

In the moment, however, it is incredibly hard to deal with the litany of “no!”s and respond to my boy with patience, gentleness, and love. If I’m honest with myself, I sometimes just want to scream at him to shut up and stop saying no. But that would be so detrimental to his development as an individual! While his will needs to ultimately submit to God’s authority, just like every other part of his being, it needs to be able to grow and mature so that in its submission to God it is a complete, beautiful, and useful tool. So instead of trying to break or control his will as it emerges from the cocoon of babyhood, my responsibility as his parent is to guide its maturation – to give him the space and freedom to use it and experience the natural fallout of using it, within clear and safe boundaries of course 🙂

connection and communication – that’s the goal, anyway

Let’s just say I’m going to need an increase in the fruit of the Spirit to match this increase of the Little Man’s will! With God’s grace, I’m hoping we can make it through this season with joy, trust, and understanding intact, instead of turning our relationship into a never-ending power struggle.

Posted in family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – birthday fun!

Still playing catch up on the pictures here… I have pictures from this week but they’re still on the camera and I’ve got all of August’s pictures to process first! Hopefully I’ll be up-to-date for next week 🙂

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For Rondel’s second birthday back in July we visited the zoo! And our zoo, being in a hot desert environment, obligingly has a spashpad where the kids can cool down. Limerick was a huge fan.

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This baby is seriously in love with water play – here he’s enjoying one of the Rondel’s birthday presents.

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I don’t actually have any pictures of him looking happy while opening presents, even the Hotwheels Mustangs from Grandpa – he was just so utterly serious about the whole process! It’s really neat how important every little thing is to toddlers, and how all the experiences we are so familiar with are brand new and somewhat exciting, challenging, and frightening all at once to them, because of course they haven’t lived through it all before.

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My sister got Rondel these peas and we made the mistake of letting him open the afore-mentioned Mustangs first… he had eyes for no other gifts once he saw those cars! Limerick, however, decided that the peas could be for him instead, if no one else wanted them, and immediately attacked them with great delight.

It’s very nice, you know, how little kids don’t hold you to some standard of perfection as their parent – they just ask for your love and attention. They don’t really care about the presents, or about how beautiful the cake was (creatively imagined but only somewhat successfully executed, if you want to know), or about how many people are there celebrating them. I’m sure their desires and expectations will grow with them, but so will my understanding of them and my relationship with them, and it is this knowledge that we’ll be growing together that keeps me from feeling overwhelmed about all the parenting milestones ahead of me.

So happy 2nd birthday Rondel! Here’s to many more years of love and laughter together.

(Go check out the other {p,h,f,r} posts through the link-up at Like Mother, Like Daughter!)

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