Compared to the scope of a pandemic, my life feels quite small. Not necessarily insignificant, but most definitely small: myself just one person, my family just one little cluster of people amidst the billions all swept up in a single massive crisis. It is the kind of smallness that can make someone feel helpless and afraid, unsure of how to protect themselves and their loved ones from something so big and so out of their control; it is the kind of littleness that can leave us cowering and vulnerable against a greater force than we can hope to conquer.
But tonight, as I put my daughter to bed, she curled herself up against my side, tucked under my arm, and I thought that the smallness of fear or helplessness is not the only kind of smallness in this world. There is also the smallness of restful trust: the smallness of a little child confident in their parents’ love, to whom the world may be very big and scary indeed but for whom that parent is a shield and refuge and source of strength. This is the smallness of a child who is hurt, or sad, or scared, or angry, but whose tears fade in the arms of their mother or father.
The Psalmist wrote that,
"Truly I have set my soul in silence and peace. As a child has rest in its mother's arms, even so my soul." (Psalm 131)
Against the swirling unknown threats of a pandemic, against the overwhelming storm of uncertainty and anxiety that is threading its way around the world, we are each on our own very small indeed, like a young child trying to fend for themselves. But where I find peace in this time is in acknowledging my own smallness and staying close by God my Father, who is quite the opposite of small and helpless, and in whose unconditional love I can be utterly confident. I do not need to be my own strong tower in the hurricane; he offers his strength so that in him I may have the peace of a child comforted in their mother’s arms.
Visit Kelly at This Ain’t the Lyceum for the rest of this week’s linkup! She didn’t do 7 takes either this week so I don’t feel too guilty about just sharing one thought 🙂
little thoughts 
Waving from Germany 🙂
We are working from home now, and expecting a proper lockdown any day. Beeing a introvert without children I am tempted to see that more as a gift – beeng able to live as I find it ideal without haveing to apaologize, but the danger is very real, for example for my parents, living in the sam e house, who are both eighty.
Hi! I know what you mean – if I didn’t have three hyper kids running around, and if there wasn’t real danger to people I care about, I’d probably quite enjoy a lockdown 🙂 As it is I’m actually going to be running COVID test samples here to help ramp up Arizona’s testing so I should be exempt from a lockdown unless I end up having to be quarantined.
This is very beautiful. When I lay down to sleep each night, I feel that I’m curled up in God’s palm, and I fall asleep in love.
That sounds like such a wonderful way to fall asleep – such an image of peace.
Reblogged this on Meditatio and commented:
Kristina does a far better job of commenting on the entire situation than I can, so I am sharing what she wrote.
Shared this in its entirety on my blog. You nailed my feelings on the subject.
Thank you! I feel honored 🙂