rondel – Page 18 – little thoughts

firetruck songs

Posted on 2015-11-04 by kristinabean

Rondel has been asking me to sing firetruck songs to him every day for the past couple weeks, typically with some very unique requirements:

“Sing firetruck song bout firetruck with no wheels!”

“Sing firetruck song bout firetruck with no siren!”

“Sing firetruck song bout firetruck with no light!”

“Sing firetruck song with tow truck in it!”

And so on.

Needless to say I don’t actually know any songs that fit these specifications, so I’ve been making them up and now my own silly firetruck songs are stuck in my head. For posterity, and maybe for a laugh, here are the two current favorites:

“There once was a big red firetruck
Who used to drive all around the town
If there was a fire, he’d put the fire out
And all the other cars would cheer and shout

‘We love you, we love you, big red firetruck!
Thank you, oh thank you, for putting the fire out!’

Then one day, his wheels fell off
So now he couldn’t drive anywhere
He was stuck in the fire station sitting on the ground
And if there was a fire, the building just burned down.

‘Where are you, where are you,’ the other cars would shout,
‘We need you, we need you, to put the fire out!’

But then a tow truck drove into town
He saw the big red firetruck sitting on the ground
He bought him some new wheels so he could drive around
And the big red firetruck went to put the fire out.

‘Hooray, hooray,’ the other cars all say,
‘Thank you, nice tow truck, for giving the firetruck new wheels!'”

And then the song that really gets him thinking about deep moral quandaries (seriously, he goes through a roller coaster of emotions with this one, and his face gets all concerned and focused):

“A little tired firetruck drove down the road
He’d had a long day and he wanted to go home
But first he thought he’d take a nap right there by the road
So he pulled off to the side and soon he fell asleep.

While the little firetruck slept there by the road
A big green tow truck happened to drive by
I think this tow truck must have been a mean guy
Because he took the firetrucks wheels and left him all alone.

When the tired little firetruck woke up from his nap
His wheels were all gone and he was stuck there on the ground
There was nothing he could do but sit there and cry
He was so sad because he had no wheels.

But then a nice tow truck was driving down the road
And saw the little firetruck so sad and all alone
He towed him into town and helped him get new wheels
And the little tired firetruck was so happy once again.”

The crazy things we do for our kids… I wonder if he’ll even remember that we used to sing silly firetruck songs together in a year or two. That might be better than having to sing them every day for that long though!

family life, musings

different interests

Posted on 2015-10-272015-10-26 by kristinabean

The things our children find fascinating our not always the same things we find interesting, and to control their play and exploration is to imply that our interests and likes are better than theirs.

Limerick is captivated by many things I would pass right by on a regular basis: the sunlight hitting the wall through a high window, the pattern of stucco on the exterior walls, the trajectory of a mason jar rolling on the ground. I want him to be able to see the world through his own unique eyes as long as possible, to develop a sense of the value of his own perspective, and not to think that he has to align his interests to the interests of others.

Rondel is similarly interested in things that don’t hold much fascination for me – mostly, right now, every single wheeled vehicle on the road. As much as I’m tempted to try to redirect his interest to something more exciting for me, I’m choosing to learn about cars with him, joining him in his interest so that he can talk about them and learn more about them and deepen his attention and focus through them. I don’t want him to think that his interests are unimportant to the person who matters most to him in the whole world.

But sometimes, I really don’t know why they’re interested in something, or even what exactly has captured their attention. What do you think is so fascinating about this pole? 🙂

family life

brothers

Posted on 2015-10-252015-10-24 by kristinabean

One of the things I love about parenting is watching the relationship between my two boys grow and deepen. I love seeing Limerick’s eyes light up when he hears Rondel coming, and hearing Rondel ask if Limerick’s done eating yet so he can play with him. I love the way Limerick does his best to copy everything Rondel does, and participate in every silly game Rondel comes up with. I love how Rondel snuggles up to Limerick and lets him climb all over him.

Tonight they were looking out the window together:

Limerick isn’t as fascinated by the cars outside as Rondel is, but he’s extremely interested in anything Rondel happens to be doing – and Rondel, despite his sometimes intense dislike of being touched, is growing a lot more tolerant of Limerick’s close and enthusiastic physical presence.

Instead of getting upset because Limerick was in his space, he just moved over and made room for his brother to look out the window too.

Then all of a sudden they both turned around and realized I was there watching them!

Someday they’re going to go on all kinds of adventures together, those two – and I can’t wait to see what they’ll do 🙂

family life

a moment together

Posted on 2015-10-20 by kristinabean

It’s the small moments together, building on each other, each one fleeting, that make a relationship strong and prove the reality of one’s love.

I will hold you close to my heart forever – I will carry you in my love.

Reading Madeleine, one of my favorite books as a young child, together, for the first time 🙂

family life

time together: sensory baking

Posted on 2015-10-192015-10-21 by kristinabean

a cloudy rainy Sunday calls for baking and naps! So Rondel and I made some cardamom-spiced pear bread and wintry oatmeal cookies together while Limerick took a nap with Daddy. It is hard to make time to spend one-on-one with Rondel and this hour or so was really special for both of us.

I brought all the ingredients, utensils, and bowls down to the kitchen floor and together we poured, stirred, cracked eggs, and explored with all our senses! Rondel noticed the difference between how brown sugar and white sugar felt on his hands, and between how they poured out into the mixing bowl. (I measured the sugar out into bowls and let him dump them into the big bowl – my “little” bowls were probably too heavy, though, as he ended up dropping them into the butter.) He felt the difference between the fine powdery baking soda and the coarse grainy salt – and liked the feel of the baking soda so much that he put his whole hand in the box to feel more! He felt the cool smooth pool of vanilla and the cloudy soft pillow of flour. He felt the firm unbroken shell of the eggs, heard the crack as he hit them against the bowl, felt the sharp fragmented edges and the slippery egg white as he tried to pry them open from his little starter hole.

He tasted the oats, dry and chewy, texturally pleasant but rather bland; he tasted the walnuts, cold and crunchy from the freezer; he tasted the cranberries, tart and bright on the tongue; and he tasted the white chocolate chips and didn’t want to stop tasting them! He observed the funny folds and crevices of the walnuts, and used his imagination to see silly cars and trucks and animals in their fantastic shapes. He saw how the white flour disappeared and was absorbed into the dough as we stirred.

And what he didn’t do faded into the background, and we ignored it. Some other day he’ll want to feel the butter, help grease the bread pans, taste the creamy-grainy mix of butter and sugar, and lick the bowl with me. He can grow in his experiences in his own way, and at his own speed, and we can still have one of the best afternoons we’ve had together in a long time.

(I didn’t take any pictures because I didn’t want to step out of the moment with Rondel, so you’ll just have to imagine the cuteness and the mess! Sorry about that!)

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – at the fire station

Posted on 2015-10-152015-10-15 by kristinabean

Rondel has a deep and abiding love of firetrucks. As an infant, one of the first imitative sounds he ever made was a firetruck siren (seriously – he was 5 or 6 months old, sitting there with his toys, making siren noises!), and now, if he hears a siren coming, he runs to the big window upstairs, asks to go outside, or (if we are outside) almost frantically tries to get to the nearest road in case it is going to pass by. We live less than a mile from the biggest station in our city, so we hear and see the trucks fairly often, but I wondered if there was a way to see them up close and personal.

To my delight, I discovered that our city offers free tours of the fire station as long as you have a group of 6-20 people! Completely against my personality and preference as a shy, logistically-challenged individual, I recruited some other families I knew, called the fire department, and set up a date.

The ladder truck (the biggest fire engine) had to leave for a call just about the time we arrived for the tour, so the firefighters showed us some of the other vehicles – the support trucks, the IT van, and the community care ambulance. That ambulance is one of the more fascinating and unique things about our fire station. Using funds from a federal grant to study ways to reduce health care expenses, they converted the ambulance into a sort of clinic on wheels, and take it to low-level 911 calls that would otherwise have resulted in an ambulance trip and an ER visit. (This type of call can include a headache, a baby’s fever, a cut that might require stitches, and so on; the firefighter who helps staff the community care vehicle told us that we would be surprised at the calls that come in.) In addition to providing immediate medical care with the onboard physician’s assistant, they can provide basic health education to equip people to deal with non-emergency situations on their own in the future. It’s a pretty awesome idea and I hope it makes a difference in our community!

{pretty}

The boys weren’t quite as interested in the community care concept as I was… fortunately, the ladder truck returned and they were able to check it out! Rondel walked around the whole truck with the firefighter, listening to him explain about all the different tools stored in each compartment on the truck (the ladder truck carries some heavy-duty equipment for cutting through roofs or into cars). He wasn’t so sure about sitting on the front of it but he let me get a picture at least.

{happy}

The icing on the cake was when he realized they would let him sit in the driver’s seat and pretend to drive the truck. I don’t think he ever wanted to get out!

{funny}

It’s a little hard to see, but his jaw is dropped open in awe or disbelief here. This was the moment he reached out and grabbed the steering wheel for the first time – I think he thought he was literally driving the firetruck.

{real}

True to my aforementioned logistically-challenged self, I scheduled the tour at a time that overlapped with Limerick’s morning nap (in my excuse, I had to schedule it a few weeks in advance and he was transitioning from 3 naps to 2 at the time). He probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if he hadn’t been so tired; he spent most of the hour-long tour sitting in his stroller just watching everyone else. He did get to check out the second-row seating in the ladder truck though:

He was loving it despite his exhaustion when – of course – they got another emergency call and we had to whisk the kids out of the truck. Oh well. I’m sure we will go again sometime! The firemen were incredibly welcoming and friendly, and very accommodating to the little kids (my friend with older kids canceled last minute, so we only had toddlers and babies). So thank you very much, Mesa Fire Department! You rock!

Don’t forget to head over to Like Mother, Like Daughter for the link-up today!

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – RAIN!!!

Posted on 2015-10-082016-03-17 by kristinabean

{pretty}

This is a desert sage. It’s not actually related to culinary sage and the leaves aren’t edible, as far as I can find out. But it is a good landscaping plant so it’s all over the city and this particular one lives right outside our front door. Here it is, sparkling with the fresh rain, rejoicing with us in the cooler, wetter weather.

{happy}

I love the rain, but no one loves the rain more than a young child set free to run around in it! I didn’t realize how much I had mellowed with age until I saw the exuberant glee of my babies running and splashing and exulting in the downpour.

the walker gives him so much more independence!

I don’t think he stopped moving the whole time it was raining 🙂

When I was younger I didn’t want to age and mellow, to lose the fierce intensity and passion of adolescence and young adulthood, or the wild happiness and anger of childhood. To me, adults seemed to have lost the ability to deeply feel life – to truly experience its terrifying highs and devastating lows. I think what I’m beginning to realize now is that it’s possible to mature in one’s reactions to the roller coaster of life and emotion without getting off the roller coaster or taming its hills and curves. That is, I can still feel everything just as deeply – enjoy things just as intensely, become angry just as quickly, and so on – without letting those feelings control how I treat others and respond to my environment. Also with age comes greater understanding of the passions that burn inside my heart, so that I’m not caught totally unawares by them, and can in turn direct them to areas of greater and more lasting value (so instead of letting the power of my emotions be wasted on a crush or a car cutting me off in traffic, I can use them to rejoice in the beauty of great music, or delight in the presence of my husband, or grow fiercely angry at the injustice surrounding immigration, abortion, or homelessness). It’s not dulling my conscience or my emotions – simply deepening my understanding of my emotions and bringing them into greater unity with my conscience and my reason. And it is a good thing, despite the fears of my youth!

{funny}

Rondel noticed the raindrops landing on the driveway, leaving the little wet splotches behind, and started pretending to pick up the fallen drops and eat them. It was really cute – and then his daddy joined him and it was even cuter 🙂

{real}

And, no surprise, we have more dirt-eating. I can’t get this kid to stop putting dirt, rocks, and sand into his mouth. Where does the fascination lie? I can only imagine it tastes terrible (from my one childhood recollection of tasting sand intentionally, it wasn’t pleasant). He seems happy about it though…

I hope you all have had a great week too! We have been so blessed out here with four (four!) consecutive rainy days. This never happens in October in Arizona! Join the linkup at LMLD and visit the other blogs – they are such a good source of encouragement and happiness in the simple everyday aspects of life.

family life

how to love my family – reminders for myself and a story

Posted on 2015-10-062015-10-04 by kristinabean

Been mulling over some thoughts this weekend that I’ll hopefully have the chance to write up soon – they’re a bit too heavy for a single blog post, so I’ll need to plan out exactly how I want to address them.

In the meantime, I’m thankful for unexpected October rains, and some cooler weather at last, and sons who love each other, and a husband who takes care of me when I’m feeling down. I’ve been selfish and impatient and my family has been so understanding and forgiving. This attitude that they have towards me – that I’m human and imperfect and trying my best to love them, so they’ll keep loving me no matter what – is the same one I want to have toward them. My tips for myself?

Always assume they had the best possible motivation.

Always assume they want to reconcile after an argument or hurt feelings.

Don’t take their feelings or words personally (especially when they’re tired or hungry!).

Renew trust, remain patient, and extend grace.

Remember that little expressions of love – a hug, a smile, an extra five minutes doing something together – can brighten the whole day.

When Rondel was about 3 months old I remember a horrible night where I was exhausted and my husband was working and Rondel was so overtired that he wouldn’t go to sleep but was screaming and tossing and turning and just wanted to nurse and my body was so sore and worn out that I couldn’t take it anymore and I lost it: I yelled at him to shut up and go to sleep, or something along those lines, and set him on the bed and left the room for a few minutes to try to pull myself together. Sometime not too long after I was telling someone this story and the appalled look in their eyes devastated me. It was confirmation that I was a failure as a mother, that I had somehow ruined my relationship with my son or broken some sacred trust.

But today, my son comes running to me with an ear-to-ear smile and glowing eyes when he sees me come into the room. His little voice announces my presence with excitement when I come down from putting his brother to sleep for a nap upstairs. When something isn’t quite right in his world, his safe place is by my side or in my arms, snuggling up to me, drawing strength from my strength as the adult, the rock, the haven in his life.

Our mistakes, our failures, the things we regret, the broken moments – they are not the whole story, or the end of the story, when there is love. I didn’t continue to yell at my baby, those years ago; I chose to apologize, and speak with tenderness, and rebuild the trust in our relationship. So I know that when I lose my patience today, he will continue to love and trust me – and he knows that when I lose my patience today, it is not a way of life but a mistake and a shortcoming, and that he can expect gentleness and unconditional love tomorrow (or even in five minutes…).

And this is a confirmation of my hope that our intent to love well, and our efforts to love well, are not in vain: that my son has begun to extend grace and gentleness to me when I tell him I’m not feeling well, toning down his play and his demands to what I can handle; he has started to treat his brother with tenderness and love, adjusting his exuberant affection to the softer touch a baby needs; and he has learned to express his own needs with calm respect for both himself and the people he needs to help him, instead of with the desperate panic of an anxious and overwhelmed infant. It is encouragement to continue the hard path of unconditional love and gentle guidance, to pick myself up from a bad day and begin again with intentionality, self-discipline, and grace.

There is love, and there has been love, and there will be love, running along all the delicate strands of the intricate web of our family life, because they were built in love and can only be maintained by love. And Christ who is love is the master planner and the great sustainer of it all, of our family and of all families who seek to love and to follow Him, and He will not let us fall or fail.

family life

brotherly love – a scene

Posted on 2015-10-03 by kristinabean

Earlier today Rondel climbed up onto an armchair and asked if Limerick could sit with him on the chair. Since Limerick had just been trying to get up into a second armchair, I thought he would like it, asked him if he wanted to sit with Rondel, and then put him up in the chair with Rondel. I wasn’t exactly sure how well it would go – Rondel can swing between an almost aggressive physical affection for his brother and a panicky meltdown if they get within two feet of each other – but given my ongoing goal of increasing their love and companionship, I was willing to give it a try.

And to my utter delight, Rondel put his arm around Limerick with great tenderness and drew him near in a hug with the sweetest smile on his face – and Limerick burst into the biggest grin ever.

I wish I could have gotten a picture! It was so incredibly sweet, and such a fulfilling moment as their mom. This love, this joy in each other’s presence, is what I’m trying to nurture in their relationship, and I pray that it continues to grow through the rest of their lives.

family life, phfr

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – thankful for the things I do have

Posted on 2015-10-012015-10-01 by kristinabean

{pretty}

We may not have much space, especially outdoor space, but we have room for the beauty of green growing things:

{happy}

We may not have lots of space to run around, or big places to explore and build forts and play games, but we have the security to play with carefree happiness in the space we do have:

{funny}

We might not have space for me to back up enough to capture the whole of our tiny yard in a picture, but we have space for the boys to play together where I can capture them both at once like Rondel asked me to:

Parallel play – and the impossibility of getting them to look at the camera, or at me!

{real}

We may not have woods and grassy hills and flowers so they can touch and see and smell the wonders of nature, but at least we have a garden so they can feel the dirt on their hands… and taste it in their mouths! The realities of toddlers!

There’s dirt in his mouth, on his face, and on his hand!

No clue why he’s eating the pot… I don’t ask anymore

To be real with you, it makes me happy deep in my heart to see Rondel with dirt in his mouth and on his hands like that. The garden is one of the few places where he’ll relax enough to get truly messy: he’ll use his whole hand to dig in the soil instead of using one finger or a scoop/tool like he prefers to do with sand or play dough. (He won’t even touch gooey or slippery things, like cornstarch slime or Jello…) I know that letting him get dirty and become comfortable with his hands and body in the soil will have huge payoffs for his sensory processing skills, and since he really hates getting messy at other times (even with food) this is our stepping stone to improving his tactile processing skills. For me, even if nothing in the garden bears fruit, it’s worth it just to see my boy getting dirty without being bothered or wanting to be cleaned up instantly.

Go visit LMLD for the rest of the link-up! I hope you had a wonderful week as well 🙂